Good lord, I’m 49. I have no idea how I lived this long. It wasn’t by design. It was more by accident. I’ve been on a determined trajectory toward a broken neck over the last 30 years. I thought I would slow down, but that hasn’t been the case. I love to mountain bike. In a lot of ways I’ve actually become a better rider. It is true I don’t do some of the crazy things I did when I was a teenager, like ride off the tops of garages, or try to figure out how to launch off the house down the quarter pipe in the back yard, but I have determined that has more to do with experience than ability. The experience of knowing that I don’t want to spend my remaining years in a body cast.
So what have I learned over the last 49 years? Sometimes it’s good to be second. If the first guy gets killed, what did you lose? Besides, the speeding ticket always goes to the lead driver. Who you work with is more important than what you do, or what you’re paid. (Dear Boss…ignore that “paid” comment.) Honor those who are loyal. There’s no room in life for betrayal. People who think you’re negative just because you don’t buy the sunshine they’re blowing up your skirt are of significantly weak character. Don’t label people. No one should be able to label you, but you, and even you can be wrong, so don’t use labels. Use crayons. And last buy not least: Never tell my wife she’s right. You’ll never hear the end of it.
On that last point I want to say that I admire my wife. She’s accomplished a lot in spite of being an attorney (love you honey). She has three children (4 if you include me) and five grandchildren. We have been together for almost three years now, and she’s the female version of me. However, she hasn’t learned the art of resting as I have. She wants to treat her body like she’s a 20 year old. I do as well, but we come at it from entirely different angles. Her idea is to see how far she can push the envelope of physical endurance. My ideas can’t be put into print.
I think the smartest thing I did over the last 49 years was marry my wife. We’re a good match. She pushes me to work harder, and I push her to work less. It’s a good balance. I’m not saying I’m lazy. I’m too tired to do that. However I am saying that she is not. She rarely sits still for more than a few minutes. You can’t sit and watch a movie with her without having to pause the thing constantly so she doesn’t miss the good parts. I have no idea why cleaning the kitchen is so important. I’m pretty sure the dishes aren’t going anywhere.
I’ve learned that there’s a lot to be said for a good day of relaxation. I learned the hard way not to push my body to the point of exhaustion. The sickest I have ever been in my life was the year I was in the best physical shape of my life. Between the flu, pneumonia, and food poisoning, I’m surprised I survived it. Did you know that if you have the flu, that you shouldn’t run ten miles? I do! My wife doesn’t know. Last weekend she could hardly move, and didn’t understand the cause. I did. Running 20 miles each Saturday on top of three hour a day workouts would destroy a teenager. A body is bound to rebel.
Still with all this the most important lesson I’ve learned is I can’t be alone. I once thought I could live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere with nothing but me and nature. I was so wrong. Life is so much more interesting when you have someone with whom to share it. This is especially true if they share your sense of humor. My wife finds my observations on life as equally interesting as I. She puts up a good show anyway. And that’s what it’s all about. We need someone to share things with. Otherwise all those good one-liners just go unheard.
Rex