Turn on the news and you find out that the Republican far right crazy is afraid. They’re terrified. They can barely leave their homes without wondering if they’re going to be shot, bombed, mugged or raped by some middle eastern ten-year-old with an Uzi. For the love of God you might even run across some Muslim at the drug store! How frightening! On the other hand, Democrats are afraid of Republicans. You can barely go to the doctor without some right wing Christian extremist wanting to kill you because he thinks your vagina is their very own personal battle ground.
The truth is the likelihood of being hurt or killed by a Muslim extremist in this country is dramatically less than being killed by a Christian. Evangelicals think if they do something wrong all they have to do is ask for forgiveness and they get a free do-over. Every week millions of Evangelicals screw over their neighbors and then ask for God’s forgiveness on Sunday and all is better. Then they go out the next week and screw them over again. Even murderers and child molesters are forgiven. At least the Muslims have the integrity to chop their heads off.
Oh Gomer, do you really think a Muslim terror attack is how you’re going to go? Then you better sell that diesel dually and put down the pork rinds. It’s more likely you’re going to die in a car wreck or eating that bacon cheeseburger deep fried in pig lard and smothered in gravy. It also might be a good idea to sue that Christian Montessori home school you attended. You suck at math, not to mention science, English, history, government (oh…I’m sorry Gubment), civics, and of course humanity.
I have never understood how someone can be so afraid that they can barely leave the kitchen without an assault rifle. Last week some poor girl came home from a night out only to be shot in her kitchen. “Was that a Muslim!?!” BANG! BANG! BANG! Oh…nope …it was only our daughter coming home for dinner. Funeral Thursday.
Seriously, I would love to see a realistic commercial for all these guys who want to buy a gun to protect themselves from the latest boogie man. It would go like this: “Are you a pussy? Did you just realize that you’re not the badass you were in high school? Is your penis so small that the only way you feel like a man is if you have a gun in your pants? Then come over to Big Gun Bob’s! We have a big stick to replace your little dick!”
To keep the fear alive Evangelicals will tell you that the Quran is a book of evil. It talks about how Muslims are to go out and kill those who don’t follow their faith. Well…perhaps you better pick up that Bible you’re thumping and actually read it. I hate to tell you this but it says you are to do the same…damn…thing. The Bible is a book of war and has been used to justify a whole host of inhumanity to man (and woman) from bigamy, slavery, rape, molestation, murder, theft, sodomy, patricide, infanticide, and incest. “But that’s the old testament” you say. Yep…the same one you use to justify your hatred of Muslims, gays, Mexicans, Africans, Indians, you know…everyone.
I’m sure the majority of conservatives are not right wing nut jobs just like I know that the majority (or even minority) of liberals want free stuff. The fact is that hate is not a conservative value. Conservative values are about hard work and perseverance. Republicans have morphed them into ignorance and bigotry. But perhaps there’s something else going on here. Maybe the worries Evangelicals have are a little more real? Perhaps someone is actually here to take all their belongings. Think about it. What would happen if they started losing more followers? With all the money floating around in the name of God maybe it’s just that the Joel Olsteen’s of this country aren’t willing to give up market share.
Happy New Year!
Rex