Granted I’m follicly challenged so it’s fair to assume that my complaint of the man bun might just be sour grapes. I will openly admit that if I had the choice, I would have a full head of hair rather than the shaved nut I sport today. Then again, as I sit here in my Levi’s, Brooks Brother’s button down, and Lucchese boots, I’m also reminded that my style is the polar-opposite of what you would expect from a man with a bun. In other words, I lean more Marlboro Man than Little Debbie.
When I make it into a gym, or on a run, I’m incessantly met with immature man-boys who think somehow a beehive is a good choice over the simple pony tail. It’s not. Go with the pony tail. Hell, you can even go the full Willy Nelson and braid it. I don’t care, but when you pile the hair on top of your head, you look like an idiot. No man should strive to look like their mother going to a dinner party unless you plan to also wear her chiffon as well. This isn’t a gay straight thing. It’s just…bad…taste.
I seriously want to know what goes through a man-boy’s head when he wakes up in the morning, checks his facial tattoos, puts rings in his nose, and gauges in his ears and thinks “Hey…you know what will set this look off? A bun!” No! NO NO NO NO NO!!! Don’t do that! You’re settling for a life of pushing your skateboard to the bus stop for your dish washing job. Think ahead lad! Think ahead!
Attitude is everything in life, and while there might be a few of people who think they can pull that look off, most of them are working carnival row at the county fair…as the freak. No one should want a life where parents look at their children and say “Keep screwing up, and that’s where you’ll be.” I’m not judging you on whether you’re a good person or not. Tammy Faye Baker was a GREAT person (her husband was an ass). I just wish someone would have stopped her before she got to the makeup counter a the Dollar Tree.
Let’s face it, unless you’re Marlon Brando, or Joe Manganiello, you really shouldn’t try the style. It’s also fair to point out that one of those guys was a bisexual man-whore, and the other one is married to Sofia Vergara. I challenge you to question either man’s masculinity. I do hope however that at some point during their relationship, Sofia has looked at the top of Joe’s head and said “no.” Then again, my wife pointed out, if he’s coming sweaty out of the gym, she’s likely not looking at his hair.
Fair enough.
Rex