I was raised Lutheran. ELCA for those in the know. I was also extremely close to my father’s mother who was a Jehovah’s Witness. My mother wanted her children to understand other religions to ensure that we were accepting of other beliefs and other faiths. It was very common that on any given Sunday or Saturday we would be taken to a Church or Synagogue and given an education on how ideas could be different, but the people were all the same. Even in my own Lutheran Church guest Pastors, Priests, and Rabbis were often present to help teach us about their respective religions. Therefore, it’s safe to say that my religious upbringing was, shall we say, diverse.
Modern Christianity seems to have strayed from the ideas and morays from my childhood. I was taught that my ultimate goal was to be like Christ, not to just worship Christ. The idea was like Jesus, I was to be in service to others, not myself. My salvation was strictly determined on that premise. Today however, self-proclaimed Christians have turned from the gospel they claim to cherish and bastardized it into a prophecy of profit and self-indulgence. No more are you to be in service to others but you’re taught if you pray and believe you’ll be rich and powerful.
In addition to the modern Christian value of self-importance, it seems to have taken on a very dark side where you’re supposed to hate the other. “I love him but hate his life” is a common refrain. Christianity has become synonymous with racism, sexism, child abuse, sex abuse, and misogyny. The idea that you can claim to be a Christian and at the same time have zero tolerance or aspire to have power over others is completely missing the point of the religion you claim to follow. I’ve seen nowhere in the New Testament that I’m supposed to hate pregnant women, minorities, other faiths, or the struggling. Yet, here you are…killin it!
If you have read the Bible it is very hard to criticize Christ. However, it is very easy to criticize Christians. The hate and bile that is constantly spewed from the pulpit makes it look more like a Klan Rally than a fellowship of souls. People seem to spend more time focused on how others should change their lives rather than looking inside and changing their own hearts, which, really, was what the founder of this proclaimed faith was trying to get everyone to do.
I’m not saying I’m perfect by any means either. My grace stops at my doorstep. Outside of my family unless you’re a child or a dog, I could give a fat rat’s ass about who you are or what you do. I have little patience for people who think my hard work and time are something for which they should profit. However, I also know that’s an attitude that flies directly in the face of Christianity and really every other religion on the face of the earth. But I’d rather go to hell as an honest man than go as a hypocrite.
My grandmother was someone, more than anyone, who taught me that being Christian wasn’t about me, it was about others. She walked the walk and if you asked would talk the talk. Sure, she was that person who knocked on your door Saturday morning, but she would also quietly walk away if you showed little interest in what she had to say. She also left your door with an unshakable belief that what she was doing was what she was called to do, which was , as the scriptures say, to “spread the word.” Faith, true faith neither requires your approval, nor your acceptance. It just is.
So why am I now an Atheist? I lost my faith when my grandmother died. I was so angry at a God that could be so callous as to remove the center of my world. Since then, it has died repeatedly by what I’ve witnessed in this world from people who claim to be the faithful. It’s the thousands of cuts after the initial thrust that has killed any faith I have had in God, or man. It is so rare in my existence to see anyone who like my grandmother, could show such compassion to so many, even those who wronged her, working to understand and not to judge. If more people adopted that philosophy rather than trying to figure out how to get even or how to punish, or how to get rich, maybe my faith would still be intact.
But don’t bet on it.
Rex