I’ve been trying to get this out for a while. It’s going to piss a lot of people off, but I decided those people don’t matter. I can say what I want, so fuck em.
I have no patience for victims. People who carry an anvil around their necks in an ocean of adversity deserve to drown. If you’re not smart enough or strong enough to either work through it, or get help then leave the rest of us alone. Don’t even get me started on these upper-class privileged white kids who somehow find a way to be victims of someone else’s tragedy. YOU’RE NOT BLACK! Pull up your pants, comb out the corn rows and stop acting like you have any inkling of the black experience. You’re an idiot.
Anyway…where was I?
Everyone has had trauma in their lives. No exception. Sometimes that trauma is worse than someone else’s trauma. That’s just a fact of life. There are people who have experienced war first hand, been raised in poverty, abused as a child, you name it. These are things that can be truly traumatic for a person. People who experience that trauma need to get help. Even if they don’t think they need help they need someone to talk to. However, even with those people, once they get the help they need, at some point, it’s time to move on. If you can’t move on, then you need to get different help. Not every solution works for everyone, and you have to find out what works for you. Hint…doing something that hurts yourself, or your loved ones, isn’t something that “works.”
Getting help for yourself doesn’t mean you get carte blanch to go after those who harmed you. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on. Life isn’t fair, and if you’re looking for fair, you’re not going to find it. Sometimes, the people who hurt you aren’t around anymore. Still, too often people think that the only way to make themselves feel better is to hurt the people that hurt them. That’s never going to work. Ever. I don’t care what someone did to you. The pain they caused you is never going to subside by making them feel the same pain.
Case and point. It amazes me, the idea that if you were bullied when you were 12 years old, you have to go out and destroy the life of the person who bullied you 35 years later. That’s silly. The person who hurt you is likely dead or has moved on with their lives. You know…like you should have. I’m going to use my own life as an example. This is a list of the things off the top of my head that happened to me growing up:
· Forced to insert my fingers in another 4 year old’s pussy (age 4)
· Pulled into a garage to play show and tell with a much older girl (age 8)
· Forced by the older paper boy to touch his penis (age 10)
· Held down by a group of boys at boy scout camp while an older scout tried to have anal sex with me (age 10)
· De-pants and thrown into the snow (age 10)
· Had multiple boys my age, hold me under water and rub their penis’ in my face at the local swimming pool (age 13)
· Held down while multiple people punched me in the body and arms. It went on for so long that my mother took me to the doctor to have me take a glucose tolerance test because she thought I might have diabetes. It never crossed her mind I was beaten on a daily basis (all of middle school).
· Held down by a much LARGER boy while he punched me in the face until my eyes swelled shut (mom know about that one…took me all evening to convince her not to 1. Kill the other child, and 2. Notify the school).
· Bullied by my “friends” relentlessly about my name, my weight, and my inability to defend myself (pretty much until I started to defend myself).
Now, I’m not saying any of this because I need anyone’s sympathy. I don’t. This was just part of my childhood experience. I certainly can’t say that it didn’t shape the person I am today. It certainly shaped me. For example, I don’t respond well to bullies. However more than one boss I’ve had has made the mistake of attempting to bully me. The outcome has never worked in their favor. I make it abundantly clear that neither I, nor anyone that works with me, will be subject to that behavior.
However, I want to focus on the people who wronged me when I was a child. At no point as an adult have I ever considered hunting these people down and demanding an apology. Nor do I have any desire to find them 40 years later and hold them accountable. That would be utterly ridiculous! How, in good conscience, could I hold a 50 or 60 year old responsible for something they did when they were 15 or 17? If I did, that would speak more about the type of person I am than the type of adult they are.
Truth be told, some of the people who bullied me are my friends today. They have wonderful wives/husbands, and children. What would I gain by attempting to uproot their lives? Likely I would just be ashamed of myself, for attempting to make them ashamed of themselves. My grievance isn’t with them. My grievance is with children who no longer exists. Trying to punish them now is fruitless. Truth be told, on the rare occasions that I do think about this stuff I feel great compassion for them. What happened to them at home to make them that way? It had to be something pretty horrific.
I think my situation is similar to a lot of people’s. I also think this is why when Brett Kavanaugh was being confirmed to the Supreme Court, while half the country lost their shit, the other half of the country could have given a shit. By all accounts, including the victim’s it was bullying. This wasn’t a rape. This was a drunk asshole getting his kicks off frightening an easy mark. I’ve watched her testimony over and over, and all I saw and heard was a frightened little lamb who would be easy pickins for a run of the mill wolf.
I don’t think Bret Kavanaugh should have been confirmed. He certainly proved he didn’t have the temperament. He also showed how much of a partisan hack he is. However, I don’t hold him accountable for what he did as a kid. No matter what the rhetoric is, by her own account Ford wasn’t raped, and nor was anyone else. What happened is that this guy was a bully. He’s still a bully. That’s the reason he shouldn’t sit on the Court. Then again, we shouldn’t be shocked. Look who submitted him.
Rex