Author: Rex Nipper

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A Holiday Note

It’s Christmas again. It’s the time of year I spend skiing with the rest of the pagans at a resort in the western United States. I never have been much for the regular trappings of the holiday since I reached adulthood. I don’t have children, so I have never seen the need to carry on that part of the tradition. However, living in the mountains does have the advantage of bringing back my inner child, or at least my inner teenager. Really…I’m going to have to go with teenager. Children don’t get together to do what we do after a day of skiing. I’ll leave some of the “what” I do up to your own imagination.

I will spend some of this time sitting by a fire with friends, and companions, reflecting on the year’s events, and eventually bidding good evening, and in some cases, carrying some companions back to their rooms after too much eggnog. Really…I have never met anyone that actually drinks that stuff. In this case, let’s just call the wine eggnog.

Needless to say, this is a great time for me. The last few years have been very stressful, so taking this time out is just what the doctor ordered. I know many of you feel the same way about your own stressful lives, and are happy to take what time you have to spend with friends and family.

So take this ranting as my bidding to you to have a wonderful holiday season, whether that be Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, or your briss. OK…maybe not briss. Let’s face it…the only people happy about that are the spectators. However, I would be more than happy to send some wine to dull the pain.

Either way, way the holiday bring you joy and gladness to the next year. I love you all, and I look forward to writing more in the near future. However, right now they’re reporting 5ft of snow in my area, and I’m taking full advantage of it!

Happy Whatever!

Rex

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The Road to Civil War

About 15 years ago I was working in Crested Butte, Colorado, at a local resort. While there I met quite a woman who had this crazy notion that the United States was on the road to another Civil War. She was just a little crazy. Most of the people in that small town had strange ideas about class, class warfare, and the economy. When you’re in a community with no middle class, you also tend to find ideas which rarely meet the middle of the road. Crested Butte is an interesting place. You have millionaires, and you have the poor. There’s no inbetween.

After all this time I think I’ve come to the conclusion that Crested Butte is a microcosm of the rest of the country. After all, there are only a few hundred people who live there year around. The rest own vacation homes, and have little care about the community. They have no vested interst in the daily affairs of the lower masses. While they have great influence on the laws and the economy, they have no regard for the people.

I was thinking about all this the other day when I rememberd a few things about the history of rebelion. Louis XVI ascended to the throne in France during enormous financial strife. The country was bankrupt. After many poor financial decisions, and a foreign war which drained the budget (namely the U.S. Revolutionary War), it was time to make major changes. However, due to political prressure Louis was able to do little to help the country move back from failure. The nobility held great power, and felt they had no responsiblity to provide for the country, and with political pressure ensured any financial burden be moved onto the lower classes. In addition to this stress, pamphlets and other materials were distributed throughout the country, spreading rumors, and unsubstantiated inuendo on the daily activities of the monarch. The purpose was to gain traction for revolution. This had the benefit that, by 1789, France was in all out war with itself.

By 1861, the United States entered its own Civil War. While the most popular reason given for the war has been slavery, the more accurate would be economic. When Lincoln was elected in 1860, the south was losing all political power. The north had built a large agrerian society, and most emmigrents moved to the north. While the south, and their ways were failing, they saw the north as a threat to their ideals and way of life, blaming their failures on the north and “New Comers.” The north was becoming more modern, metropolitain, and liberal. All this combined with the south’s economic and moral failures (namely slavery), the increase in political rhetoric, and the lack of compromise, led to our nations most tragic war. When northern Senators blocked the sale of slaves to the western states, what started as a war in the Senate, soon became all out bloodshed when the first shots were fired at Fort Sumner.

Now when I look back at our history, and the history of the world, I wonder if we aren’t moving toward another Civil War. We entered into foreign wars which have drained our financial resources. We have politicians who want to turn back the clock to our old ways, as if they were better. We blame our problems on the “New Comers.” We have a speaker of the house who wants to not only repeal healthcare, but to also repeal the 18th amendment (the one that made slaves citizens and not 3/5ths a person). The economy is in the gutter, and there’s a fire being fueled by pundits on both sides which is driving a wedge so deep between us that we can’t even see there’s another side.

So it’s been 15 years since I walked away from that woman thinking what a nut she was. Now I’m not so sure. Perhaps she wasn’t crazy. I’m thinking she might have had some insight on the world, which I was not aware. It makes me wonder. We are definately moving through dangerous waters. Maybe she is like most prophets, just a little ahead of her time.

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Growing up Des Moines

I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa.  I lived in the same house until I was 20, got baptized, confirmed, and even married in the same Lutheran Church (although I went back for that last one 18 years later), and pretty much lived on the same side of town until I left the state at 29 years old.  It was a great childhood, and I have to say I grew personally, professionally, and intellectually while living there.  Hell, even the state slogan says that “It’s a Great Place to Grow.”  Still, my education really wasn’t all that rounded until I left. 

It’s a scary thing leaving the only place you know.  People don’t think the same way about Iowa that Iowans think.  For example, everyone outside the state pretty much thinks it’s flat, and covered in corn.  I mean come on…why wouldn’t they?  Every four years during caucus time they get a brief glimpse of farmers in their fields, and some politician being stupid enough to let their picture be taken deep throating a corndog.  Seriously…can someone please tell them to stop doing that?  It looks disgusting. 

What people outside the state don’t get is that while there definitely is an agricultural side to the state, it also has its urban issues as well.  I grew up in one of those urban areas.  When I moved to Colorado Springs in the 90s they thought they were pretty metropolitan compared to Des Moines.  Uh no.  That’s like saying the Altoona, Iowa is pretty metropolitan compared to New York.  The only thing metropolitan about Colorado Springs is Denver. 

I was shocked when people in Colorado Springs would tell me to avoid the south side.  I drove down there.  It’s pretty much suburbia.  I’m still not sure what they fear from that area.  I think it’s because there are Hispanics down there.  You see…Colorado Springs is so white that when it snows you can’t really tell.  They’re also so Republican that Iowa Republicans come off as left wing communists.  We’re all about the cross burnings down here. 

You see, I grew up in a neighborhood that makes the south side of Colorado Springs seem pretty tame.  Are there shootings in Colorado Springs?  Yes.  But as yet no one has shot an unsuspecting driver while they sat at a stoplight so the shooter could kill the people in the car on the other side of the innocent bystander.  I’m still using that as my measuring stick.  They did have a crazy guy hold up a Planned Parenthood, but which town doesn’t have their idiot?  They just arm them here.

Anyway the reason I was writing this is because I was thinking about many of my friends in the Midwest and their political stances.  Their ideas are deeply rooted in how and where they grew up.  From their perspective the world works a certain way and there’s right and there’s wrong and you just don’t have to think about it. The problem is the world is a lot more complicated than the inner workings of the 10 or so square miles of east side Des Moines.  This is why governing is so hard.  You’re going to piss off half the population no matter what you do.

Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t educate yourself.  Make yourself aware of what’s happening in other parts of the country, or other parts of the world.  Most of the things I read from friends are based on a true desire to make the world a better place.  The problem is that you have to go out and see the rest of the world before you can form an opinion.  What’s good for you would is not always good for someone else.  So for them I offer this:  Leave!  Visit other places.  Don’t just go and vacation, get to know the locals.  Try to understand them.  Read!  Read from and about people you don’t agree with.  Don’t just get your news from TV.   If you can travel that really is the best way.  For some of you this will be easy.  For others it will hard.  For some of you it will be impossible.  For the remaining few, I’m happy to pay for a ticket to Syria. 

Kisses!

Rex

Oh…and P.S.  You idiots that keep writing these memes about “You know you’re from Iowa if?”  Cornhole was NOT a game created in Iowa.  If you ask an Iowan what cornhole means  (especially and East Sider) I don’t think you’ll be prepared for the answer. 

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Look Who Submitted Him

I’ve been trying to get this out for a while.  It’s going to piss a lot of people off, but I decided those people don’t matter.  I can say what I want, so fuck em. 

I have no patience for victims.  People who carry an anvil around their necks in an ocean of adversity deserve to drown.  If you’re not smart enough or strong enough to either work through it, or get help then leave the rest of us alone.  Don’t even get me started on these upper-class privileged white kids who somehow find a way to be victims of someone else’s tragedy.  YOU’RE NOT BLACK!  Pull up your pants, comb out the corn rows and stop acting like you have any inkling of the black experience.  You’re an idiot. 

Anyway…where was I?  

Everyone has had trauma in their lives.  No exception.  Sometimes that trauma is worse than someone else’s trauma.  That’s just a fact of life.  There are people who have experienced war first hand, been raised in poverty, abused as a child, you name it.  These are things that can be truly traumatic for a person.  People who experience that trauma need to get help.  Even if they don’t think they need help they need someone to talk to.  However, even with those people, once they get the help they need, at some point, it’s time to move on.  If you can’t move on, then you need to get different help.  Not every solution works for everyone, and you have to find out what works for you.  Hint…doing something that hurts yourself, or your loved ones, isn’t something that “works.”

Getting help for yourself doesn’t mean you get carte blanch to go after those who harmed you.  Sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on.  Life isn’t fair, and if you’re looking for fair, you’re not going to find it.  Sometimes, the people who hurt you aren’t around anymore.  Still, too often people think that the only way to make themselves feel better is to hurt the people that hurt them.  That’s never going to work.  Ever.  I don’t care what someone did to you.  The pain they caused you is never going to subside by making them feel the same pain. 

Case and point.  It amazes me, the idea that if you were bullied when you were 12 years old, you have to go out and destroy the life of the person who bullied you 35 years later.  That’s silly.  The person who hurt you is likely dead or has moved on with their lives.  You know…like you should have.  I’m going to use my own life as an example.  This is a list of the things off the top of my head that happened to me growing up:

·        Forced to insert my fingers in another 4 year old’s pussy (age 4)
·        Pulled into a garage to play show and tell with a much older girl (age 8)
·        Forced by the older paper boy to touch his penis (age 10)
·        Held down by a group of boys at boy scout camp while an older scout tried to have anal sex with me (age 10)
·        De-pants and thrown into the snow (age 10)
·        Had multiple boys my age, hold me under water and rub their penis’ in my face at the local swimming pool (age 13)
·        Held down while multiple people punched me in the body and arms.  It went on for so long that my mother took me to the doctor to have me take a glucose tolerance test because she thought I might have diabetes.  It never crossed her mind I was beaten on a daily basis (all of middle school).
·        Held down by a much LARGER boy while he punched me in the face until my eyes swelled shut (mom know about that one…took me all evening to convince her not to 1. Kill the other child, and 2. Notify the school).
·        Bullied by my “friends” relentlessly about my name, my weight, and my inability to defend myself (pretty much until I started to defend myself).
Now, I’m not saying any of this because I need anyone’s sympathy.  I don’t.  This was just part of my childhood experience.  I certainly can’t say that it didn’t shape the person I am today.  It certainly shaped me.  For example, I don’t respond well to bullies.  However more than one boss I’ve had has made the mistake of attempting to bully me.  The outcome has never worked in their favor.  I make it abundantly clear that neither I, nor anyone that works with me, will be subject to that behavior. 

However, I want to focus on the people who wronged me when I was a child.  At no point as an adult have I ever considered hunting these people down and demanding an apology.  Nor do I have any desire to find them 40 years later and hold them accountable.  That would be utterly ridiculous!  How, in good conscience, could I hold a 50 or 60 year old responsible for something they did when they were 15 or 17?  If I did, that would speak more about the type of person I am than the type of adult they are. 

Truth be told, some of the people who bullied me are my friends today.  They have wonderful wives/husbands, and children.  What would I gain by attempting to uproot their lives?  Likely I would just be ashamed of myself, for attempting to make them ashamed of themselves.  My grievance isn’t with them.  My grievance is with children who no longer exists.  Trying to punish them now is fruitless.  Truth be told, on the rare occasions that I do think about this stuff I feel great compassion for them.  What happened to them at home to make them that way?  It had to be something pretty horrific. 

I think my situation is similar to a lot of people’s.  I also think this is why when Brett Kavanaugh was being confirmed to the Supreme Court, while half the country lost their shit, the other half of the country could have given a shit.  By all accounts, including the victim’s it was bullying.  This wasn’t a rape.  This was a drunk asshole getting his kicks off frightening an easy mark.  I’ve watched her testimony over and over, and all I saw and heard was a frightened little lamb who would be easy pickins for a run of the mill wolf.    

I don’t think Bret Kavanaugh should have been confirmed.  He certainly proved he didn’t have the temperament.  He also showed how much of a partisan hack he is.  However, I don’t hold him accountable for what he did as a kid.  No matter what the rhetoric is, by her own account Ford wasn’t raped, and nor was anyone else.  What happened is that this guy was a bully.  He’s still a bully.  That’s the reason he shouldn’t sit on the Court.  Then again, we shouldn’t be shocked.  Look who submitted him.

Rex

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Mothers vs Fathers

There are huge differences between mothers and fathers.  For one thing, most mothers have a self-contained biological surveillance system that puts the combined resources of the FBI, CIA, and NSA to shame, not to mention Facebook.  A mother can be standing alone in a grocery store and without warning, yell out “I said no!”  A split second later her four-year-old, three aisles away, completely out of the line of sight, and beyond the reaches of a normal human’s ability to perceive sound, drops the bag of candy they just picked up as if the voice of God rang out from above!

Father’s on the other hand lack that ability.  Put that father in the same store, in the same situation and the kid would have 16 bags of candy open, be covered from head to toe in chocolate, and bouncing off the store walls like a junkie on crack and 12 cans of Monster.  In fact, a guy can take his kid to the store, hold their hand all the way through every aisle, and only for a SPLIT SECOND let go to pull his wallet out to pay, and the next thing you know the kid’s gone!  GONE!  As if traveling through space and time he’s 17 miles way being fed cotton candy and jelly beans by a road side circus clown.

To make matters worse, the clown calls the cops, and the kid tells them where mom works, because, let’s face it, even the child is smart enough to know Dad can’t be trusted if it was so easy to ditch him, and when mom gets home with the kid she’s 72 shades of pissed the hell off, making Dad deal with the aftermath of a child so hopped up on sugar even Mr. Rogers would say “Calm the Fuck down!”

That’s not to say fathers don’t have their purpose.  They’re usually the ones who teach the kid to fix cars, do yard work, build things, paint the house, cuss, watch sports, and fart without apology. Men are also the first to recognize their own accomplishments and announce without shame the moronic things they do (on a daily basis) as if stupidity is a badge of honor.  With them, you pretty much have to take the good with the bad.

There’s a reason that women live longer than men.  They’re smarter than we are.  They also have a greater capacity for compassion, are more apt to consider all aspects of a situation before entering into a conflict, and almost always know the truth before asking the question. 

So with that in mind, and with all the problems of the world, perhaps its high time for women to take over.  After all, they certainly can’t screw it up any worse than we have.

Rex