Author: Rex Nipper

I have avoided this can of worms since it is so controversial. While I’m more than happy to rant about current events, political points of view, and general musings about the dumbass things people say and do, I have always felt this topic too taboo to really get into. However, given recent political statements, and the upcoming elections, I have no doubt this subject will be at the forefront of many political and social discussions. Not only that…I really think I’ve been kind of a wimp, not taking it on in the first place. So…hold onto your socks…here we go. Try to keep reading, my conclusion might surprise you. Then again…maybe not.

Jon Kyle (R Arizona) recently claimed on the floor of the U.S. Senate that 90% of what Planned Parenthood does is perform abortions. While that’s a nice propaganda statement, the truth is that the actual number is less than 3%. In point of fact, Planned Parenthood’s main goal is to promote a healthy baby, and mother, and educate the public on sexual health. I truly believe that if you are against abortion, you should join Planned Parenthood. Get involved. Do what you can to educate people on what they can do to protect themselves. Teach them about birth control. While abstinence is a nice idea, it is rarely practiced, and extremely impractical. Most teens who have made the “promise” are actively sexual. So wouldn’t it be more helpful to show them what they need to do to be safe, and not pregnant?

Recently another Republican Senator claimed that a D & C is also an abortion. In reality it is a medical procedure normally carried out after a miscarriage, or for some other diagnosis. While it is true that, in the 1970’s, D & Cs were used (in 23% of cases) as a means for abortion that is not entirely true today. Recent studies show that only 2.4% of abortions have resulted in a D & C. This procedure is usually the result of an error, or problems with the abortion procedure itself, or in some cases where an abortion was attempted by an unqualified practitioner (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilation_and_curettage).

The other fallacy that seems to be prevalent from abortion foes is that they have taped recordings from babies who are screaming during the procedures. Even if during the first trimester the fetus had the ability to feel, this would be a physical impossibility. Babies gestate in amniotic fluid the entire time they are in the womb. This fluid seeps into the vocal folds, making it impossible to make any sound. If you doubt this, then drink a glass of water and scream. It can’t be done. Amniotic fluid is a great deal thicker.

As most of you know, I enjoy irony. I find it interesting that most Right to Life advocates also believe in the death penalty. This basically means that while they want to save the life of an unborn fetus, they’re more than happy to make abortion retroactive, if that “life” doesn’t work out. I also don’t understand conservatives who are against abortion, but also against birth control, well baby care, food programs for needy children, sex education, or public education. I would think that if you want to end abortion, you should fund the other alternatives with a fervency that would show how much you value life over your pocketbook. Why on earth wouldn’t you want to make every effort to show an expectant parent that they will have support in every way if they keep the child?

I can’t imagine what a woman has to go through to make the decision to have an abortion. The idea that these decisions are made lightly is rediculous. Economically, it is definitely cheaper to use a condom. Given that the cost for an average abortion is around $500.00, I can’t imagine that people are having them because they don’t want to use other forms of birth control, as some opinions have expressed. Also, to deny abortion in instances of rape and incest is downright insane. If a father gets their child pregnant, I don’t think you should further punish his child by forcing her to carry a baby full-term. For younger children, the physical trauma can be fatal. Even if they survive, isn’t it too much to ask from a child who has suffered enough horror in her life to go through more? Is this really “God’s plan?”

Now, after reading all this, it might surprise you to know that I absolutely do not agree that abortion should be used as a means of birth control. I would love to see the practice end. However, I am pro-choice. So that means this is my belief, and not one I think I should impose on others. I’m still not sure when life starts. According to many religious doctrines, from what I understand, life begins when the child takes its first breath. I don’t know if that is true or not, but I do know that the early philosophers had no concept of modern medicine. Still, if you take a Fundamentalist view of any religion, you would have to agree with it literally. That means that life would begin after birth. However, I have found that Fundamentalists only agree with the fundamentals when it suits their own prejudices.

Still, I would love to never have a need for this service. I just think the best way would be to get involved and educate people on the other options available. Make no mistake, your political leaders won’t solve the problem. They don’t want a solution. They want the issue. The issue puts them in the newspapers. The issue keeps both sides on the front page. The issue garners your attention. They want you upset. They want you riled up. However, in the end, yelling obscenities at each other, lying about statistics, picketing clinics, and bombing facilities, does not help either argument. In fact, it does more to make you look ridiculous. Crazy is never helpful.

I think we need stupid police. I don’t mean we need police that are stupid, I think we need police that stop the stupid. I have noticed recently a rash of ridiculous remarks by individuals that people seem to be taking whole cloth. For example: Obama being a Muslim, African, Radical Christian, Atheist, taking money from the military President. The Bush planned 911, conspired with Osama Bin Laden, and the oil companies, to make Dick Cheney rich, who was really acting as the President, President. The smoking monkeys, boy and girl sex gangs (groups of tweens going around having sex in groups…a Colorado thing). The moon landing never happened, and aliens are being kept in warehouse people. It’s like the entire country never left the seventh grade! Really folks…that movie star never ate the pop rocks and coke, and then died.

I also think we need stupid police for our court system. If you bring a case before a court, suing the city for not keeping you from stepping in front of a moving bus, you should instantly go to jail. The lawyer should go to jail, and so should you. You both are stupid. If you, your child, your grandchild, or any child throws a lawn dart into the air, and it lodges into the head of either themselves, or their older brother, you can’t then sue Mattel. If you do…you go to jail. You’re too stupid to breath. OK…you can sue the idiot who threw the lawn dart. Oh…and sorry about the lawn dart Joe …the statute of limitations are over. It was 40 years ago…I’ve said I’m sorry…get over it. We can barely see the scar now. Oh…and mom says call her.

I also think we need stupid police for our politicians. When politicians spout ridiculous statements about their opponents, demonize anyone who doesn’t believe the way they do, or libel themselves on the floor of the House and Senate, they should be arrested. If they are then surprised when their constituents follow their lead, and believe the rhetoric, we should just shoot them. Oh…and the people who believe them should be jailed as well.

Recently, Senator Jon Kyl claimed on the floor of the U.S. Senate that abortions are 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does. In reality it is 3%. Kyl should be put in jail. Its statements like these that help neither side. It doesn’t matter how someone feels about the subject. If you are against abortion, and someone finds out you’re lying about your facts, you lose credibility. If you lie about the facts and your opponents figure it out, they use it against you. Neither side really wins.

And last but not least, I think we need stupid police for the general population. We need them for these people who read outlandish statements and are too lazy to check on the facts. We need them for people who think we’re in a Democracy, and not a Representative Republic. We need them for people who think driving is a right, and not a privilage. We need them for voters who don’t know which candidate they chose on a ballot. We need them for people who believe that the budget battles in Congress have anything to do with entitlements, and nothing to do with partisanism. And we need them for anyone that listens to a talking head and thinks that head has anything in mind but the talking head’s best interest.

I read yesterday that Ambercrombie & Fitch have decided it would be a good idea to market padded swim suits to seven year olds. Really, was this a good idea? With all the marketing people in that company, did not one of them speak up and even hint that this might be a bad idea?

I am no stranger to bad business decisions. I, like most people have worked around them all my life. You look at what someone is doing in the business and no matter how hard you try, you find it difficult to comprehend the decisions that are made around you. You try to offer input, give advice, and engender understanding, but in the end there’s nothing you can do but watch the bus go over the cliff.

That’s what I am sure has happened here. In fact, I’m more than positive I can walk you through the decision process. You see, someone in the company learned that their daughter, niece, neighbor girl, whomever wanted to be older. They learned that they asked her mother when she would be old enough to have breasts. After all…my big sister Susie has them…I should have them. So then they went to the office, and thought up this whole idea. They figured they could make a bikini…for a small child…and the child would be all over wanting it. They might be right. Perhaps young girls, looking at the scantily clad images on the walls of their stores would want to look like them. Why not? Hell…I want to look like them. But then I look terrible in a pushup bra.

Anyway, this marketing rep was thinking that, like parents listening to their child whine for Captn’ Crunch in the cereal aisle at Walmart, they would break down and buy this product for their child. You see…they KNEW the power of a child’s demands on a parent. They KNEW that parents would eventually break down and buy whatever the child wanted, no matter what the cost. They KNEW that no matter what, in the end, parents want to make their children happy. What they didn’t know, was that even more than that, parents want to make their children SAFE!

Sexualizing a seven or ten year old is insane. Hell…I think sexualizing an 18 year old is insane, and I’m not even a parent. Lord knows they should have locked me in an all-male school when I was a teenager. I was gasoline and teenaged girls were the match. I’m out of fuel now, but I can still remember what it was like. How anyone would think that making a small child look like a young woman is a good idea defies common sense. With all the dangers in the world for young children, why would anyone want to add to that danger?

So Ambercrombie, I think it would be a good idea to move the product out of your stores. It was a bad idea. Do I think you’re managed by a bunch of closet pedophiles? No. Do I think you intended harm? No. Do I think you have profit in mind over any other human consideration? DEFINITELY! But perhaps this time you should admit it was a mistake. And perhaps you should change your idea of the perfect model. I think you spent so much time creating clothes for anorexic models, that you lost sight of what real people look like. I understand the mistake. You thought a normal sized seven year old, was really 30.

I have been reading these articles lately from the Denver Post about marijuana dispensaries being closed down in small towns (namely Fort Collins) around Colorado. It seems the communities in these areas have a problem with these businesses in their communities. For some reason they have this idea that these types of businesses, like strip clubs, should be something that is out of sight and out of mind. I have to say that, contrary to the 17 year old in my head that’s screaming foul, I think they’re right.

For the sake of full disclosure, I have to admit that when I was in high school I tried marijuana. I even inhaled. OK, I tried it when I was nine, and pretty much inhaled until I was 19. I also smoked cigarettes from age 11 until 22. For those keeping track, marijuana was my gateway drug to tobacco. In my opinion, cigarettes are a MUCH more dangerous chemical. It’s a wonder I can still breathe. I have never done any other drugs, or even drank alcohol. I have never understood the draw of alcohol. Why would anyone want to do something that, in the end, was going to make them hurl a week’s worth of food? I was of the mind that if I overdid something, I would rather eat a week’s worth of food.

Anyway, back to the discussion of marijuana dispensaries. I have no problem with people making the decision to partake in such activities. I really do think that there is a medical need in many cases. However, the lack of oversight for these places is frightening. There is no Federal oversight other than it being illegal, and the State has little knowledge of how to handle these institutions. In point of fact, most of them are hangouts for your general neighborhood pot head. Anyone…and I mean ANYONE can get a prescription to use this stuff. It’s like a Viagra prescription: Fill out a questionnaire online, and you have one.

And don’t think that all that hang out there are the skateboarder dropouts. Some of these people operate motor vehicles and have some pretty hefty house payments to go with their skateboards. I worked as a project manager for a cell phone aggregator. I can tell you that on any given day, many of my co-workers were stoned because they spent lunch time getting high at the dispensary. Some of these were people making upwards of 100k+ per year. I can tell you that not one of them has a physical malady that would require the need for the prescription. I know…they bragged about it. So the next time you pick up a cell phone and say to yourself “The guy that built this must have been high!” You might be right.

Does this mean that there are people out there that should have access? Yes…definitely. But the abusers ruin it for everyone. I am not a parent, nor am I a prude. However, I would have a hard time supporting any business that would make my child think it is OK to be high, or a stripper (hey…and I even know I few I like), or a porn actor, or actress (don’t know any of them…after all…I’m not Charlie Sheen). So if I lived in one of these communities I definitely wouldn’t want that type of business in my neighborhood. The element of clientele it draws is not the old cancer patient as much as the traditional user.

However, if the State would take some responsibility and make them legitimate, or require owners to be licensed pharmacists, I would definitely agree to that. I understand why they don’t. If a pharmacist started dealing marijuana, then they would lose their Federal license to dispense other medications. So perhaps we’re not ready yet to have these types of businesses around. Maybe it’s time to lobby the Federal government more heavily to make these drugs legitimately legal. Maybe it is time to put strict guidelines around what qualifies a legitimate user. I think we need that type of regulation. It would definitely beat what we’re doing now.

According to the latest census numbers Hispanics now make up 17% of the population. Hispanic culture is permeating our society in ways that we have yet to understand or notice. Based on current numbers, Hispanics will soon, if they have not already, outnumber blacks as the largest minority. Heck, before long old bald white men like myself may become the minority.

For some people these numbers are shocking, and to others they are terrifying. The largest gains in Hispanic population are not in Arizona, or Texas, but in the Midwestern states like Iowa and Indiana. Large groups of Hispanic workers have been flocking to these areas for low wage jobs in packing houses, and small manufacturing. In fact it is well known that these areas have been recruiting low wage labor from Mexico for over a decade.

And who cares? Hispanic families fit in very well in the heartland. They are close knit, loving, and helpful to their neighbors. Just like the small town farmer, if they see you stalled on the side of the road, they are more than happy to lend a helping hand. I know for me personally, an Hispanic family moved in next door to my aging mother, and they shovel her walk in the winter, bring her vegetables in the summer, and in general make sure she is well. For a son that lives 800 miles away, this is very comforting.

What many studies have shown is that Hispanic culture may take over our own in the form of entertainment, food, and lifestyle. Well get me on that train! I have never met a plate of Hispanic food I didn’t like. I mean if you haven’t had a deep fat fried taco shell stuffed with beans and meat and cheese, you’re just not living (I highly recommend Tasty Tacos in Des Moines Iowa…yes…Des Moines Iowa). And have you ever seen Hispanic television? In a word: DAMN! These women make the bit part anorexics on Two and a Half Men look like stick people. I don’t speak a word of Spanish, but when I flip through the channels and run across a Mexican soap opera, I don’t need any translation.

If Hispanics are taking over the nation then let’s get a move on. I think we could use the change. Our pasty white government needs some more color. The old battles of white and black are getting a little old for me anyway. I think it’s time for a new player on the political stage that has true family values, and not just stated for the cameras. So light up the 12 strings, and call in the Mariachis, baby. Daddy wants to Salsa!