Author: Rex Nipper

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It’s the Black Guy

It used to be that the worst thing that could happen during a country music concert was a drunk redneck might puke on your shoes.  Now you have to worry about nut cases shooting you from 400 yards away and 32 stories up.  I think the trade-off is a little ridiculous but this is the price you have to pay for living in a free society.  When the shooting starts, just make sure to curl up and make yourself small. 

I know, I know.  The left wing hired this guy so they could take your guns.  We can’t let that happen.  We need to make sure we protect all our gun rights.  I’m all for it.  Just keep those laws how they are.  It reduces the population and makes my commute to work easier.  We can just tally the gun deaths like we do traffic accidents.  It’s the cost of doing business.  It will be a boon for the bullet proof clothing industry.  In ten years we’ll all be walking around with color coordinated body armor as we shop at Walmart.

Just keep in mind that none of this happened because of a retired white guy who went off his meds.  That’s not the case at all.  It was the NFL and all those traitor flag kneelers.  Pat Robertson said so.  Make sure you understand that this wasn’t the fault of this man.  He was distraught by all the disrespect for God and the flag.  It wasn’t his fault at all.  It was the black guy’s.   

If we just had more guns this wouldn’t have happened.  Who cares that this guy was 400 yards away and 32 stories up barricaded in a corner room of a hotel.  To put that in perspective for you that’s 4 football fields, and almost 4 water towers high like the one where you first had sex with your cousin.  But of course you could have killed him if you only were only able to have the .45 you keep shoved in the crack of your ass.  Sure, you might have killed a few innocent people while you tried to make the shot…I mean if you didn’t get killed first, or even if you could hit the building from that distance, but that’s the price we pay for freedom. 

Just remember that the only Amendment to the constitution is the second one.  Without guns we can’t be protected from the people with all the guns.  And remember, don’t speak out against guns.  That’s just wrong.  Because again…the Second Amendment is the most important one on the books!  The first one can just go to hell.  We need to make sure that no one speaks ill of our guns. 

And keep in mind this isn’t the fault of President Trump.  Even though he countermanded an executive order that would prevent people deemed mentally unfit from owning firearms.  It’s not his fault we have a few more crazy people out there shooting at everyone.  That’s not the reason at all.  This was the fault of the previous administration making all those rules that made people crazy.  So again…this isn’t the fault of the white guy.  It’s the black guy.

Thanks Obama
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Open Letter to the Republican Party

Dear Republican Leadership:

I realize that we are on different planes when it comes to how we view the world.  You think the poor should just get off their asses and work, and I think we need a safety net for those people that may not have the same opportunities as I.  You think minorities need to conform to the status quo, and I think we need to embrace our diversity and provide equal voice to all races, religions, and sexual orientations.  We have major ideological differences.  That is true.  But can we at least agree one thing?  Donald Trump will NEVER bring us together. 

We both think the best way for us to survive as a country is to ensure all of us have an equal opportunity to succeed.  Where we differ is how we achieve that goal.  However, the current leader of our country does not, by any measure, have this country’s best interest in mind.  He fancies himself an oligarch, with delusions of one day being Vladimir Putin.  You now this!  Everyone knows this!  Yet you still keep the party line responding weakly to his daily, if not hourly, statements that drive a wedge down the middle of our country.

I get it.  You don’t like him any more than I do.  However, your base likes him and you need to get re-elected.  You’re afraid, and rightly so, that if you speak out too soon that you will pay the price at your next election.  You’re waiting for the tides to turn.  I think you need to stop waiting.  You are leaders in your own right.  You can turn the tide of opinion all on your own.  If the Republican leadership and Congress came out with a single voice and stated that “We no longer have confidence in this President.”  I have no doubt that the tide of opinion would turn in your favor both quickly and loudly.

Sure, you will have some holdouts who will say that “see…told you the establishment would take over.”  Well…so what.  That minority will be so small that they won’t matter.  They can continue to think the world is flat, 9/11 was an inside job, and the moon landing was faked by Hollywood.  You’ll never win them over anyway.  No one will.  No one should.  So don’t even try.

I for one do not think that Donald Trump is any more racist than the next person.  It think it’s different than that.  I think he sees himself as a father figure and we (black, white, Asian, Mexican, et. Al) are all his little children to be led by the supreme leader.  This man is not so much as delusional as dangerous.  He is a danger to not only this nation, but to the world.  So from the bottom of my heart, please, do your duty for the country and for the world, and find it in your heart to remove this man from office.

Sincerely,

Rex Nipper
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Her name is Kitty

My wife and I have a puppy.  Her name is Kitty and she’s fierce!  You can see by the video below that even at ten weeks old she’s able to terrify a herd of deer.  The tension on her leash was so tight that keeping her from ripping it out of my hand was much like trying to land a 200lb catfish.
 

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a new puppy.  I forgot how much work that it can be.  There’s reason babies and puppies are so cute.  It keeps us from killing them long enough so they can wind themselves around our heart strings to such a point that once we realize what a pain in the ass they are if we kill them we kill ourselves.

I love it when I come home and she’s so excited to see me that she can barely remain upright.  Her love for me is completely unconditional.  If I locked her in a trunk for an hour and let her out she’d be ecstatic to see me.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t get that reaction from my wife, and she married me.  I only have to go outside for 15 minutes and walk back in the door, she rolls around at my feet, and squirms and wiggles her hind end like I’ve been missing in the forest for a year.  My wife just asks me what I forgot to take with me.

I’ve always been critical of pet owners.  I’m an avid cyclist and runner and when I go out on the trail it’s a tossup of whether I’ll be eaten by a bear or mauled by an unleashed canine.  Between the lack of attention given to most pets and the lack of consideration of pet owners to pick up after their animals, most of the trails that start in the city look and smell like a city dog pound.  We’re doing our best not to be one of those people. 

We’re trying to be responsible pet owners.  We are teaching our puppy trail etiquette, and trying to socialize her with people and other animals so she doesn’t attack them and rip them to pieces when she sees them…you know…like the deer in the video.  We have leashes for walking, leashes for running, water bowls for hiking, food packets, and a first aid kit just in case she stubs and pad.  We’re also trying to make sure she has all the shots she needs.  She even has her own medical insurance.  To be honest, our puppy gets better access to healthcare than we do! 

There’s also no lack of advice we get on how to train and treat our puppy.  Do we use corporal punishment, or treats.  How should we bathe them, feed them, what vet do we go to, how often should we walk to dog, what food should they eat, don’t spoil them, don’t coddle, put them in their own kennel, have them sleep with you, don’t have them sleep with you, let them roam the house, don’t let them roam, the list goes on and on and on.  I gets to such a point that I want to tell people “Hey!…I’m not breast feeding her in public, so let it go!

Nor is there any shortage on shame for not going to a shelter to get our dog.  You know…how dare you pay $1250.00 for a dog you can train, care for, provide a home, and then buy another $2000.00 in toys and medical care?  It’s irresponsible and such a drain on the economy!  Really?  The pet industry has to be one of the most profitable I’ve ever seen!  Not only that with all the money we’ve spent on toys and entertainment for this dog her favorite thing to do is grab all her toys out of her box an then sit in it or drag it across the floor! 

We’ve had this puppy for almost a month now and I can tell you that the experiences we have enjoyed from her are some of the best I’ve ever had.  My anxiety levels which run about 90 on a scale of 100 have been reduced to below 50.  In fact the only downside I can see is not  the puppy, but all the advice I get from others.  I think it’s like having a baby.  Everyone has advice, but few have knowledge.  So it’s a good thing she lowers my anxiety levels so much.  Otherwise I’d be the one biting people and peeing on their leg.
 
Rex
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Exactly!

I was reading the Washington Post article “Blackwaterfounder held secret Seychelles meeting to establish Trump-Putin back channel” about Trump’s team trying to have backdoor meetings with Russia.  Really, since these were events that happened after the election, I could care less.  Who cares the Trump wants to get into Putin’s backdoor anyway.  Those are some photos I NEVER want to see.
 
Still the thing I found most disturbing about the article wasn’t the story about Trump and Putin’s ongoing love affair and possible pee fest.  The thing that alarmed me was this:

“Prince is best known as the founder of Blackwater, a security firm that became a symbol of U.S. abuses in Iraq after a series of incidents, including one in 2007 in which the company’s guards were accused — and later criminally convicted — of killing civilians in a crowded Iraqi square. Prince sold the firm, which was subsequently re-branded, but has continued building a private paramilitary empire with contracts across the Middle East and Asia. He now heads a Hong Kong-based company known as the Frontier Services Group.“

Is anyone else worried about this?  I think someone needs to have a conversation with the Washington Post’s Editorial Board.  Seriously…who gives a shit about Trump and Putin when you have a guy with a private army carrying on wars for profit.  We already know Prince is more than happy to gun down unarmed civilians for money.  What’s to keep him from coming here and doing it to Americans?

Now you might think I’m being a little alarmist here, but hold on.  First off, the guy already thinks he’s above any law domestically or internationally.  This was proven time and again in Iraq and Afghanistan.  His personal army was responsible for so many atrocities, that even Dick Cheney couldn’t condone him.  Add to the fact that Trump has little regard for juris prudence, and a tenuous connection with Civil Rights in general and you have a definite possibility that one day we might see Erik’s troops walking the streets here in the U.S. very soon.  Think I’m kidding?  Just wait till they tell the Orange wonder that he has to leave the white house in a few years and see what happens. 

Erik already has influence directly within the Trump Administration not only through himself, but through his sister Betsy, I think Jesus rode dinosaurs, DeVos.  Put Trump’s and Erik’s massive egos together, along with the real-life sense of entitlement Trump and his kids have and you have the makings of a military coup the likes of which we haven’t seen since Saddam Hussein.  Add to all this that Erik already thinks he’s a Viking warlord (I mean seriously…who spells Eric with a K?) and you have the makings of a disaster that would normally only present itself in an episode of Homeland (I can’t wait to see what happens next week). 

Right now I would say there is a 50/50 chance that Trump will be impeached in the next four years.  I’m 90% positive that a Republican will run against him in four years if the Orange idiot makes it through his term and wants to run again.  This guy will not go quietly.  There will be conversations with Erik’s private army on possibilities of going up against the U.S. Military.  Erik isn’t large enough yet, but he’s doing his best to get there.  Suffice it to say that any movement in that direction would be a disaster for everyone, not just Erik and Trump, but our country as well. 

This is a new age in Politics and Business.  The power brokers that have usually make moves behind the scenes are now out on the open.  They don’t like it much.  This is why many of them are trying to turn the clocks back to 1950.  For decades they’ve remained in the shadows directing the world from behind closed doors.  Now that we can see their movements it’s getting a little scary.  Make no mistake, every decision made at the Republican political level is in direct relation to how someone will make a profit.  It has absolutely nothing to do with the wellbeing of the general population.  If you think I’m wrong, then I will ask you two questions: 

  • How many decisions or executive order made by the current administration that has or will directly help you in the near future?
  • How many will help the rich?

Exactly!

Rex

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Snowflake

Someone just called me a snowflake.  They don’t know me very well.  Therefore, I’m starting from there to begin this rant.  First off, I’m by no means a snowflake on anything.  I believe that everyone should work for what they want.  However, I also believe that everyone should be given the opportunity to pursue the goals they wish to pursue.  If that makes me a snowflake, well…bring on the storm!

I understand that conservatives get annoyed by all the political correctness on the left.  I really do.  There are real problems in the world and some idiot gets all offended if someone uses the wrong term to describe someone’s nationality.  No one cares!  As long as a guy’s not being racist who gives a fuck?  But if someone calls an Hispanic Mexican you get all butt hurt.  Listen you tight-wad white middle-classed sweater tied around your neck metrosexual.  No one has time for you to look for something to be a victim about.  We have enough real victims in the world without your fake pansy ass taking up space.

Liberals aren’t alone on their island though.  You don’t have to look any farther than the Orange wonder to see someone who’s panties get all in a bunch when someone doesn’t agree with him.  He’s the leader of the most whiny set of jackasses that ever graced the political stage.  How a group of the most power set of rich white guys can suddenly paint themselves as being victims is beyond any human rationalization.  Seriously…you won the election!  You hold power in all three branches of government.  How in the world can you still say that you’re a victim?

If you are not as successful in this life as you want to be then I can point to at least 90% of that being your own fault.  Not one of us, rich, poor, old, young, gay, straight, black, brown, red, white, Asian, or Orange has gotten through this life without having something they have had to overcome.  This is why when you come out into the world and tell people how bad life has been for you, most of us don’t give a shit.  We don’t.  Life his hard.  Get over it.

I understand that being a woman or minority brings special challenges for you in the world.  Guess what…we all have challenges.  Some are harder than others.  Work through it and shut the fuck up.  If you decide that you’re going to wallow in your own pity, you will never be anything but a victim.  If you take someone else’s opinions of you to heart you’re wasting too much energy.  Someone’s opinion of you doesn’t matter a tinker’s damn.  The only opinion that matters is yours.

If you dress with your pants down around your ass and get followed in stores it ain’t because we’re black.  It’s because disgusting.  Not everyone is out to get you because you’re of some race.  I’m a 51 year old white guy.  If I dressed with my pants around my ass and walked into the local Sears I’d be followed around too.  The opposite is true as well.  If I’m presentable, then I get assistance.  The same goes for minorities.  Also keep this in mind, just because someone comes up to you and asks if they can help doesn’t mean they think you’re a thief.  Sometimes it means they want a commission.  Cut them a brake.

Don’t get me wrong.  There certainly is racism and sexism in the world.  Avoid that at all costs.  Ask yourself, if you think you didn’t get the job because you were of some other race, religion, or sex, do you really want to work with that asshole?  If someone yells racial slurs out of their car window, what do you care?  They’re the ones with the job at Carl’s Junior.  Pick your ass up and go to your real job.  The only time you should have any reaction is if they threaten to physically harm you.  At that point you have my blessing to beat the ever loving shit out of them!

On the conservative side, why are all you rednecks so hell bent on sending Mexicans back to Mexico and blaming Muslims for taking jobs that you either wouldn’t or couldn’t do?  Are you all of a sudden hell bent on putting down the Pabst and going to college or something?  Come on!  Let’s be serious Jethro.  If you had the physical ability to pick fruit all day, or the mental capacity to solve complex math equations, you would have traded in the double-wide for a real foundation 20 years ago!

Now, one last thing to everyone.  Donald Trump is OUR President.  When one is elected, you don’t get to choose to not play along.  That was tried in 1861 and we see how that turned out.  If you didn’t want the great Orange Julius, you should have gotten your lazy ass out in November and voted for the other side.  With that said we’re in this pickle now and we are stuck with it for four years or until someone finds any REAL evidence that something is amiss.  If you want a change, then show up to the polls a year from this November and vote.  If you’re not willing to do that, then shut the fuck up and let the grownups get back to work.

Snowflake