I married late, so I learned a lot about dating. Most women I met wanted a “take charge kind of guy.” They wanted someone to make the decisions on where to go, and what to do for the evening. Sure, there was discussion on general ideas, but in the end, the guy was the one who made the decision on logistics. That’s why I didn’t date much. I like being in the woods, riding a mountain bike, running, or backpacking. Most women like a take-charge guy, but that usually means taking them somewhere to charge a meal.
That’s why when I met my wife I was elated when she wanted to go hiking for our first date. That first experience was hiking on a trail in Moab, Utah. It was a brisk January day. The trail was dry, and the stream she fell in was ice cold. Sure…she almost froze solid, but she took it well, and it provided a great example of her personality: Good-natured.
We’re both still very active, and she’s still clumsy. However, she has improved enough that she hasn’t fallen into any streams recently. The relationship worked from the start. She was all about what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and when I wanted to do it. She was the most easy-going person I’d ever met. Then we got married.
Marriage seems a little different. Being a take-charge guy doesn’t seem to have the same meaning. My wife is slowly moving into her realm of dominance. She’s very sly, my wife. I think it is her attorney training, but her sister tells me it is an innate trait she’s had since birth. What started out as a “me” fest is now a “her” fest, and I’m not exactly sure how to take it.
When this married started, I thought I was in charge. Truth be told however, I’m thinking I never was. That wasn’t what was taught to me in the Bible. From all I learned growing up I was the one to give the orders. Who wrote that book anyway? Obviously it was someone recently out of the wilderness.
Recently my wife has decided that I should help around the house, and not just mess it up. However we have differing degrees of what is dirty and what is not. While I maintain that I keep a clean and tidy house, you couldn’t just eat off her floors, you could do major surgery when she cleans. I’m afraid to touch anything for fear of breaking the sterile seal. It’s a little frightening.
Remember when I said women wanted a take-charge guy? I don’t think that’s true. It’s a ploy. Even if my wife is constantly telling me I am in charge. Especially since what she says I’m in charge of is completely different than what I expect. I could say more about that but I don’t have time. My wife is calling me into the kitchen. Because as she tells me almost daily I am in charge…of the cooking, the cleaning, and whatever else she tells me.