Father’s on the other hand lack that ability. Put that father in the same store, in the same situation and the kid would have 16 bags of candy open, be covered from head to toe in chocolate, and bouncing off the store walls like a junkie on crack and 12 cans of Monster. In fact, a guy can take his kid to the store, hold their hand all the way through every aisle, and only for a SPLIT SECOND let go to pull his wallet out to pay, and the next thing you know the kid’s gone! GONE! As if traveling through space and time he’s 17 miles way being fed cotton candy and jelly beans by a road side circus clown.
To make matters worse, the clown calls the cops, and the kid tells them where mom works, because, let’s face it, even the child is smart enough to know Dad can’t be trusted if it was so easy to ditch him, and when mom gets home with the kid she’s 72 shades of pissed the hell off, making Dad deal with the aftermath of a child so hopped up on sugar even Mr. Rogers would say “Calm the Fuck down!”
That’s not to say fathers don’t have their purpose. They’re usually the ones who teach the kid to fix cars, do yard work, build things, paint the house, cuss, watch sports, and fart without apology. Men are also the first to recognize their own accomplishments and announce without shame the moronic things they do (on a daily basis) as if stupidity is a badge of honor. With them, you pretty much have to take the good with the bad.
There’s a reason that women live longer than men. They’re smarter than we are. They also have a greater capacity for compassion, are more apt to consider all aspects of a situation before entering into a conflict, and almost always know the truth before asking the question.
So with that in mind, and with all the problems of the world, perhaps its high time for women to take over. After all, they certainly can’t screw it up any worse than we have.
Rex