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Happy Birthday Baby!

Not for nothin’, but when I was 13 years old I had teachers telling me I should just hang it up.  I wasn’t going to amount anything anyway.  I’m happy to say that people like Mr. Day were wrong, so when I look back on my life I’m happy that I’m employed, financially secure, and personally very happy.  I think I have accomplished a lot in my years on this planet.  But when I start getting cocky and think I’ve conquered the world, all I have to do is look over at my wife, the queen of accomplishment, to pull myself back into reality.
We have been married for over five years now.  In fact, it was six years ago this month that we first met in Moab, Utah for our first date.  I will be forever grateful for that day.  It has started a journey for me personally I never thought I’d have.  I adore my her.  She’s my hero and always will be.  When I think of all the things I’ve done in my life they pale in comparison to her.  She’s a mother of three, and grandmother of five, who put herself through law school while raising a family of boys.  I mean…kill me now!  To add insult to injury she opened her own law firm last year and the success even surpassed her own expectations.  She now has a nice office in downtown Colorado Springs, three employees, and is considering bringing on another attorney as well as opening a second office in Nevada.  That’s in ONE year!  She’s done in 12 months what it usually takes people five years to accomplish.  So…it’s pretty humbling when I go to work to manage the projects of a bunch of tech geeks to know that Kim is blazing a trail that few men, let alone women have done. 
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.  Four years ago, she decided that she would run five marathons before she turned 50.  This was at a time when she had never run more than say five miles in her life.  But there we were, a year later, a couple of weeks before her 50thbirthday running up and back to the Hoover Dam to finish her fifth marathon that year.  I’d say that’s a lot of work just to earn a glass of chocolate milk at the end of the day.  But no one has ever accused my wife of under doing it. 
I’m not saying that living with a type A++ personality is a total picnic.  God forbid you forget to take your shoes off after she’s cleaned the floors.  Not only that making trips to the Walmart, or the Mall can be a test in patience.  I can shop at a store and in under 15 minutes I get everything I knew I needed before I walked in and that’s it (Home Depot and Lowes not withstanding).  But you go shopping with my wife and 16 and a half hours later you’ve left with everything on her list, plus a new dress, shoes, a sweater or two, presents for all the grandkids and a new Cadillac. 
Also, never contradict her.  She will outright tell you there’s a wrong way to do things, and there’s her way. That’s pretty much it.  It can be quite the challenge to find out that after 47 years you were doing everything the wrong way.  She’s patient with me though…well…for the most part, so I’m thinking by the time I get to be say 97, I might have life all down pat. 
What I can say about this is if you know me personally, or work with me, you know that I adore my wife.  It comes out in everything I say and do and I am constantly trying to make her proud to be married to me.  There hasn’t been one time that I’ve regretted marrying her.  I’ve regretted contradicting her.  I’ve regretted arguing with her.  But I have never regretted being married to her. 
So what brings all this on?  Today she is 53, and planning to run another set of marathons this year.  In fact she’s at the gym now weight training.  And today I wish her the best of days for now and always.  I love her dearly and will be forever dedicated to her for the rest of my life.
Love you baby!

Rex
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Happy Anniversary Baby!

I love you my wife.  Tomorrow it will have been five years since we married and I love you more now than the day we met.  I know I say that a lot but it’s true.  I really do!  The first 47 years of my life were absolutely boring.  I thought I was destined for a life of misery and mediocrity.  Then you came along and the journey has been nothing but amazing!
As you know before we met I was planning on moving to the woods and becoming a hermit.  I had finished with the human race.  I’d had enough.  You changed my plans of never shaving again and only occasionally bathing.  My mother thanks you.  So do the hundreds of individuals who would have met me in the Walmart every Friday for grocery and donut day.  
But seriously, I never expected how much I would come to love you as much as I do, or how much I would come to depend on you over the years.  I know I can by trying, and I know I’m not the best at showing you how I feel sometimes, but you should always know that you are in my heart all day, every day.
There are many moments where I sit and just start smiling about something you have said or done.  You constantly bring me joy.  Where I am weak, you are strong.  I have to say that no one could ask for a better match. 
Not once in the five years we have been together have I questioned the decision to marry you.  Never, not once.  I might joke about it but that’s it.  I don’t even mind never winning an argument.  Although you might throw me a bone once in a while.  But really that’s not important to me.  I just like being with you.  If you decided tomorrow you wanted to pull up roots and move out of the country I’d go.  
I am completely content with you whether we are at the movies, going to the store, or just sitting on the couch listening to the rain hit the side of the house.  It’s not about what we are doing, it’s about just doing it with you.
You are one of the most passionate people I know.  Whether it’s work, running, or that odd sport you call football.  Also, your dedication to your family is very important to me as well.  You have a love for your children and grandchildren that I can’t help but feel if all parents felt that way the world would be a better place.  I know it’s better for me as long as you and I are together. 
Suffice it to say that I can’t imagine being without you.  You are my sun, my moon, and my stars.  You are my friend, my confidante and my lover.  And for that I will always be grateful.  Let’s hope the next 100 years together are as good or better than the previous five.  And yes…I plan to live that long. The banks wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love you!

Me
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It’s the Black Guy

It used to be that the worst thing that could happen during a country music concert was a drunk redneck might puke on your shoes.  Now you have to worry about nut cases shooting you from 400 yards away and 32 stories up.  I think the trade-off is a little ridiculous but this is the price you have to pay for living in a free society.  When the shooting starts, just make sure to curl up and make yourself small. 

I know, I know.  The left wing hired this guy so they could take your guns.  We can’t let that happen.  We need to make sure we protect all our gun rights.  I’m all for it.  Just keep those laws how they are.  It reduces the population and makes my commute to work easier.  We can just tally the gun deaths like we do traffic accidents.  It’s the cost of doing business.  It will be a boon for the bullet proof clothing industry.  In ten years we’ll all be walking around with color coordinated body armor as we shop at Walmart.

Just keep in mind that none of this happened because of a retired white guy who went off his meds.  That’s not the case at all.  It was the NFL and all those traitor flag kneelers.  Pat Robertson said so.  Make sure you understand that this wasn’t the fault of this man.  He was distraught by all the disrespect for God and the flag.  It wasn’t his fault at all.  It was the black guy’s.   

If we just had more guns this wouldn’t have happened.  Who cares that this guy was 400 yards away and 32 stories up barricaded in a corner room of a hotel.  To put that in perspective for you that’s 4 football fields, and almost 4 water towers high like the one where you first had sex with your cousin.  But of course you could have killed him if you only were only able to have the .45 you keep shoved in the crack of your ass.  Sure, you might have killed a few innocent people while you tried to make the shot…I mean if you didn’t get killed first, or even if you could hit the building from that distance, but that’s the price we pay for freedom. 

Just remember that the only Amendment to the constitution is the second one.  Without guns we can’t be protected from the people with all the guns.  And remember, don’t speak out against guns.  That’s just wrong.  Because again…the Second Amendment is the most important one on the books!  The first one can just go to hell.  We need to make sure that no one speaks ill of our guns. 

And keep in mind this isn’t the fault of President Trump.  Even though he countermanded an executive order that would prevent people deemed mentally unfit from owning firearms.  It’s not his fault we have a few more crazy people out there shooting at everyone.  That’s not the reason at all.  This was the fault of the previous administration making all those rules that made people crazy.  So again…this isn’t the fault of the white guy.  It’s the black guy.

Thanks Obama
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Open Letter to the Republican Party

Dear Republican Leadership:

I realize that we are on different planes when it comes to how we view the world.  You think the poor should just get off their asses and work, and I think we need a safety net for those people that may not have the same opportunities as I.  You think minorities need to conform to the status quo, and I think we need to embrace our diversity and provide equal voice to all races, religions, and sexual orientations.  We have major ideological differences.  That is true.  But can we at least agree one thing?  Donald Trump will NEVER bring us together. 

We both think the best way for us to survive as a country is to ensure all of us have an equal opportunity to succeed.  Where we differ is how we achieve that goal.  However, the current leader of our country does not, by any measure, have this country’s best interest in mind.  He fancies himself an oligarch, with delusions of one day being Vladimir Putin.  You now this!  Everyone knows this!  Yet you still keep the party line responding weakly to his daily, if not hourly, statements that drive a wedge down the middle of our country.

I get it.  You don’t like him any more than I do.  However, your base likes him and you need to get re-elected.  You’re afraid, and rightly so, that if you speak out too soon that you will pay the price at your next election.  You’re waiting for the tides to turn.  I think you need to stop waiting.  You are leaders in your own right.  You can turn the tide of opinion all on your own.  If the Republican leadership and Congress came out with a single voice and stated that “We no longer have confidence in this President.”  I have no doubt that the tide of opinion would turn in your favor both quickly and loudly.

Sure, you will have some holdouts who will say that “see…told you the establishment would take over.”  Well…so what.  That minority will be so small that they won’t matter.  They can continue to think the world is flat, 9/11 was an inside job, and the moon landing was faked by Hollywood.  You’ll never win them over anyway.  No one will.  No one should.  So don’t even try.

I for one do not think that Donald Trump is any more racist than the next person.  It think it’s different than that.  I think he sees himself as a father figure and we (black, white, Asian, Mexican, et. Al) are all his little children to be led by the supreme leader.  This man is not so much as delusional as dangerous.  He is a danger to not only this nation, but to the world.  So from the bottom of my heart, please, do your duty for the country and for the world, and find it in your heart to remove this man from office.

Sincerely,

Rex Nipper
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Her name is Kitty

My wife and I have a puppy.  Her name is Kitty and she’s fierce!  You can see by the video below that even at ten weeks old she’s able to terrify a herd of deer.  The tension on her leash was so tight that keeping her from ripping it out of my hand was much like trying to land a 200lb catfish.
 

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a new puppy.  I forgot how much work that it can be.  There’s reason babies and puppies are so cute.  It keeps us from killing them long enough so they can wind themselves around our heart strings to such a point that once we realize what a pain in the ass they are if we kill them we kill ourselves.

I love it when I come home and she’s so excited to see me that she can barely remain upright.  Her love for me is completely unconditional.  If I locked her in a trunk for an hour and let her out she’d be ecstatic to see me.  I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t get that reaction from my wife, and she married me.  I only have to go outside for 15 minutes and walk back in the door, she rolls around at my feet, and squirms and wiggles her hind end like I’ve been missing in the forest for a year.  My wife just asks me what I forgot to take with me.

I’ve always been critical of pet owners.  I’m an avid cyclist and runner and when I go out on the trail it’s a tossup of whether I’ll be eaten by a bear or mauled by an unleashed canine.  Between the lack of attention given to most pets and the lack of consideration of pet owners to pick up after their animals, most of the trails that start in the city look and smell like a city dog pound.  We’re doing our best not to be one of those people. 

We’re trying to be responsible pet owners.  We are teaching our puppy trail etiquette, and trying to socialize her with people and other animals so she doesn’t attack them and rip them to pieces when she sees them…you know…like the deer in the video.  We have leashes for walking, leashes for running, water bowls for hiking, food packets, and a first aid kit just in case she stubs and pad.  We’re also trying to make sure she has all the shots she needs.  She even has her own medical insurance.  To be honest, our puppy gets better access to healthcare than we do! 

There’s also no lack of advice we get on how to train and treat our puppy.  Do we use corporal punishment, or treats.  How should we bathe them, feed them, what vet do we go to, how often should we walk to dog, what food should they eat, don’t spoil them, don’t coddle, put them in their own kennel, have them sleep with you, don’t have them sleep with you, let them roam the house, don’t let them roam, the list goes on and on and on.  I gets to such a point that I want to tell people “Hey!…I’m not breast feeding her in public, so let it go!

Nor is there any shortage on shame for not going to a shelter to get our dog.  You know…how dare you pay $1250.00 for a dog you can train, care for, provide a home, and then buy another $2000.00 in toys and medical care?  It’s irresponsible and such a drain on the economy!  Really?  The pet industry has to be one of the most profitable I’ve ever seen!  Not only that with all the money we’ve spent on toys and entertainment for this dog her favorite thing to do is grab all her toys out of her box an then sit in it or drag it across the floor! 

We’ve had this puppy for almost a month now and I can tell you that the experiences we have enjoyed from her are some of the best I’ve ever had.  My anxiety levels which run about 90 on a scale of 100 have been reduced to below 50.  In fact the only downside I can see is not  the puppy, but all the advice I get from others.  I think it’s like having a baby.  Everyone has advice, but few have knowledge.  So it’s a good thing she lowers my anxiety levels so much.  Otherwise I’d be the one biting people and peeing on their leg.
 
Rex