Posts

Posted on

Growing up Des Moines

I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa.  I lived in the same house until I was 20, got baptized, confirmed, and even married in the same Lutheran Church (although I went back for that last one 18 years later), and pretty much lived on the same side of town until I left the state at 29 years old.  It was a great childhood, and I have to say I grew personally, professionally, and intellectually while living there.  Hell, even the state slogan says that “It’s a Great Place to Grow.”  Still, my education really wasn’t all that rounded until I left. 

It’s a scary thing leaving the only place you know.  People don’t think the same way about Iowa that Iowans think.  For example, everyone outside the state pretty much thinks it’s flat, and covered in corn.  I mean come on…why wouldn’t they?  Every four years during caucus time they get a brief glimpse of farmers in their fields, and some politician being stupid enough to let their picture be taken deep throating a corndog.  Seriously…can someone please tell them to stop doing that?  It looks disgusting. 

What people outside the state don’t get is that while there definitely is an agricultural side to the state, it also has its urban issues as well.  I grew up in one of those urban areas.  When I moved to Colorado Springs in the 90s they thought they were pretty metropolitan compared to Des Moines.  Uh no.  That’s like saying the Altoona, Iowa is pretty metropolitan compared to New York.  The only thing metropolitan about Colorado Springs is Denver. 

I was shocked when people in Colorado Springs would tell me to avoid the south side.  I drove down there.  It’s pretty much suburbia.  I’m still not sure what they fear from that area.  I think it’s because there are Hispanics down there.  You see…Colorado Springs is so white that when it snows you can’t really tell.  They’re also so Republican that Iowa Republicans come off as left wing communists.  We’re all about the cross burnings down here. 

You see, I grew up in a neighborhood that makes the south side of Colorado Springs seem pretty tame.  Are there shootings in Colorado Springs?  Yes.  But as yet no one has shot an unsuspecting driver while they sat at a stoplight so the shooter could kill the people in the car on the other side of the innocent bystander.  I’m still using that as my measuring stick.  They did have a crazy guy hold up a Planned Parenthood, but which town doesn’t have their idiot?  They just arm them here.

Anyway the reason I was writing this is because I was thinking about many of my friends in the Midwest and their political stances.  Their ideas are deeply rooted in how and where they grew up.  From their perspective the world works a certain way and there’s right and there’s wrong and you just don’t have to think about it. The problem is the world is a lot more complicated than the inner workings of the 10 or so square miles of east side Des Moines.  This is why governing is so hard.  You’re going to piss off half the population no matter what you do.

Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t educate yourself.  Make yourself aware of what’s happening in other parts of the country, or other parts of the world.  Most of the things I read from friends are based on a true desire to make the world a better place.  The problem is that you have to go out and see the rest of the world before you can form an opinion.  What’s good for you would is not always good for someone else.  So for them I offer this:  Leave!  Visit other places.  Don’t just go and vacation, get to know the locals.  Try to understand them.  Read!  Read from and about people you don’t agree with.  Don’t just get your news from TV.   If you can travel that really is the best way.  For some of you this will be easy.  For others it will hard.  For some of you it will be impossible.  For the remaining few, I’m happy to pay for a ticket to Syria. 

Kisses!

Rex

Oh…and P.S.  You idiots that keep writing these memes about “You know you’re from Iowa if?”  Cornhole was NOT a game created in Iowa.  If you ask an Iowan what cornhole means  (especially and East Sider) I don’t think you’ll be prepared for the answer. 

Posted on

Life with my Wife

I’m not sure how a marriage is supposed to work.  I had never been married until almost four years ago.  In fact our anniversary (one of them) is coming up in a few weeks.  That’s right…we have two.  We were married in Colorado and then had another ceremony in Iowa ten months later.  I’m told by my wife that we have more than two, but I have trouble remembering its Tuesday, so we’ll just stay with the two. 

My wife often wonders if I made the right decision to marry her.  I don’t tell her how often I think about her, or why the reason I try to leave work early every day is so I can spend more time with her.  I’ve never really liked the company of many people.  My friends are few and my close friends are even fewer.  It takes a lot for me to trust anyone, let alone allow someone into my heart in the way she is.  I think I need to tell her more often.

Most men make the same mistakes when it comes to women.  They think that since you tell your mate how you feel about her once she should always know how you feel.  We rarely change so when our significant others get upset about not knowing how we feel about them we get confused.  We think “Seriously?  I told you I loved you in like 1968!  Did you think that would change?”  The answer is yes…they think it will change.

I had actually started writing a handbook for men on how to deal with women.  Now after being married to one for four years I’m thinking I am I no way remotely qualified to write a single syllable on the subject.  I take it all one day at a time and then respond to whatever comes forth.  My wife is a puzzle.  One that I will never solve.  She can be happy, sad, silly, goofy, crazy, jealous, loving, caring, concerned, and stubborn, and that was just at breakfast.  I never know what I’m going to get with her which is why I’m always so excited to see her.  I can be on the edge of screaming and all she has to do is smile at me and it goes away in an instant.  That’s amazing to me!  How does she do that?

Before I met my wife, life was pretty dull.  I was getting too comfortable in my ways and wasn’t ready to let anyone in.  I even had plans to uproot everything and just move into the mountains and become a hermit.  That was actually my plan.  Then I met her.  I fought like hell to keep her at arms-length but she was having none of it.  For that I will be forever grateful.  For the last four years life has been better than any single day of the previous 47. 

One thing I know beyond the shadow of a doubt is that she will never let me forget it.

Love you baby!

Me. 
Posted on

Life with my Wife

I’m not sure how a marriage is supposed to work.  I had never been married until almost four years ago.  In fact our anniversary (one of them) is coming up in a few weeks.  That’s right…we have two.  We were married in Colorado and then have another ceremony in Iowa two months later.  I’m told by my wife that we have more than two, but I have trouble remembering its Tuesday, so we’ll just stay with the two. 

My wife often wonders if I made the right decision to marry her.  I don’t tell her how often I think about her, or why the reason I try to leave work early every day is so I can spend more time with her.  I’ve never really liked the company of many people.  My friends are few and my close friends are even fewer.  It takes a lot for me to trust anyone, let alone allow someone into my heart in the way she is.  I think I need to tell her more often.

Most men make the same mistakes when it comes to women.  They think that since you tell your mate how you feel about her once she should always know how you feel.  We rarely change so when our significant others get upset about not knowing how we feel about them we get confused.  We think “Seriously?  I told you I loved you in like 1968!  Did you think that would change?”  The answer is yes…they think it will change.

I had actually started writing a handbook for men on how to deal with women.  Now after being married to one for four years I’m thinking I am I no way remotely qualified to write a single syllable on the subject.  I take it all one day at a time and then respond to whatever comes forth.  My wife is a puzzle.  One that I will never solve.  She can be happy, sad, silly, goofy, crazy, jealous, loving, caring, concerned, and stubborn, and that was just at breakfast.  I never know what I’m going to get with her which is why I’m always so excited to see her.  I can be on the edge of screaming and all she has to do is smile at me and it goes away in an instant.  That’s amazing to me!  How does she do that?

Before I met my wife, life was pretty dull.  I was getting too comfortable in my ways and wasn’t ready to let anyone in.  I even had plans to uproot everything and just move into the mountains and become a hermit.  That was actually my plan.  Then I met her.  I fought like hell to keep her at arms-length but she was having none of it.  For that I will be forever grateful.  For the last four years life have been better than any single day of the previous 47. 

One thing I know beyond the shadow of a doubt is that she will never let me forget it.

Love you baby!

Me. 
Posted on

Republicans try to Suspend Right to Bear Arms during Convention

So with all the hullaballoo from the right about how Obama is raising the price on ammunition, suspending the 2nd Amendment and taking everyone’s gun away it turns out that the Republicans tried to get Ohio to suspend the Open Carry laws during the RNC convention this week.  John Kasich tried…but they actually can’t.  They do have a ban on tennis balls, squirt guns, and other devices of destruction, but you’re more than able to carry a gun.  Seriously…they banned tennis balls.

Now…forgive me…but doesn’t this fly in the face of the Republican platform of the more guns the merrier?  Haven’t I been hearing for decades that the only way to protect anyone from a gun is to have a gun?  Hasn’t Trump been telling us this all during his campaign?  What happened here?  How is the presumptive Republican nominee going to be safe from all those outlaws carrying guns if we don’t let everyone in the room have a gun?  

The reality is that while you can open carry a gun in the state, you wont’ be able to do it near the candidate.  The Secret Service put the kibosh on that.  So if you show up with your AR-15 near the candidate they’re going to tackle you to the ground.  However, you’re more than welcome to endanger the rest of the participants.  Just don’t bring a tennis ball.  That shit will get you killed!

So what I’d like to know is where’s the NRA in all this?  Why aren’t they speaking out about how Republicans tried to limit everyone’s 2nd Amendment rights?  Where is the outrage from the gun lobby who tell us constantly that the only way we will ever be safe in this world is if we’re armed to the teeth?  According to them everyone from teens to toddlers should be armed with a semi-automatic and enough ammunition to drop a hippo. 

I guess they haven’t been reading their own propaganda.  Here’s a little tidbit for those of us whose knuckles don’t drag as we walk:  More guns have been sold under the Obama Administration than any other in history.  More ammunition has been sold than under any other administration.  Now, the gun lobby will tell you that Obama is limiting your use of firearms, but there’s absolutely no evidence of that.  In fact the only thing I have seen happen is Republicans telling you you can’t carry a gun to one of their events.  I think that shows they trust their base with firearms about as much as I trust Trump with a fact.

So I always hear from my Republican friends that Obama doesn’t want them to own a gun because he is afraid of the public turning on the government.  So how does is square with all of you now that the Republicans are so terrified of you that they don’t want you carrying a gun near them?  What do you make of that?  Does it tell you that they’re supporters of the 2nd Amendment and your right to carry a firearm, or does it say something else?  I think it says they know their base is all batshit craaaaaazy!

The reality is that there is no way in hell anyone in their right mind wants a crowd of people fully armed in a hot, closed, room for a week.  That’s pretty much a recipe for disaster.  I just find it interesting that no one has caught onto the fact that the people who say everyone needs a gun are the first to want to limit your ability to carry one.  However you’d think they’d at least let them have the squirt gun.  There’s enough hot air in that room to melt iron.  Now that’s just unmurican!

Rex
Posted on

I’m almost 51!

It’s that time of year where I post my annual birthday rant.  Now that I’m officially in my early 50s I have a lot to rant about.  In a lot of ways I’m still the same person I was 30+ years ago.  I still enjoy the same things, and I can still do most of them.  For example, just this morning I went to the skate park and ripped some virt, even launching out of the top of the bowl once and then landing on my ass.  I didn’t fall because I’m going to be 51, I fell because I was pushing it and this is what happens.  That notwithstanding, here are some things that do bother me:

One of the major problems with being in your 50s is that you don’t know what might be a major sign of something medically wrong and what is just a result of age.  For example, I used to be able to tell when I was done peeing.  Now if I’m not looking down, I take the risk of zipping up my pants before I’m done.  This can be extremely embarrassing when walking into a staff meeting.  Also, I’ve always had to get up at least once during the night to relieve myself, but now 20% of my weekly exercise is walking to the bathroom five times a night.

I can tell you from experience that if you go to your doctor and complain about these issues he will run you through a plethora of tests, biopsies, x-rays, and WHOLEY unwelcomed intimacies with a rubber glove only to tell you in the end that “Yep…you’re in your 50s.”  Dude!  Did I really need to spend $3000.00 for you to tell me that?  Not to mention that I’m pretty sure you’ve gone where no man has gone before.  I’m thinking I should at least get dinner out of it. 

Joint pain has become a common occurrence.  I have always had muscle pain.  That’s normal for my level of activity.  Between running, mountain biking, and ripping the skate parks, I’m prepared for some muscle pain.  But now for some reason I have such chronic hip pain that it makes it difficult to sit or sleep.  I can stand, but I can’t sit.  I even had to buy a standing desk for my office so I can get some work done.  Before that I had to get up every 5 minutes and walk around the office. 

My eyes are changing.  I have always been a little nearsighted.  That’s nothing new.  However, until recently I haven’t had to wear glasses.  I did get a pair about 10 years ago, but they stayed in the case most of the time because I really didn’t need them all that much.  Now however, I can’t seem to see exit signs on the freeway unless I’m sitting under them and when I do that it frightens the locals doing 98 in a 65 zone.  I do like the glasses though.  I can now see what I’m going to hit on the mountain bike before I actually hit it.  I don’t miss it…I just know what it is before I crash now.

My memory is going.  It takes me about 15 minutes to realize that the reason I can’t find my cellphone is because I’m holding it next to my ear while I talk to someone complaining that I can’t find my cellphone.  I can remember with vivid clarity something I did in the summer of 1982, but for some reason can’t recall the name of the person I’ve worked with for the last year.  When getting ready for work in the morning I make so many trips to and from my car to pick up things I forgot that I’m considering just buying 10 of everything so I don’t have to remember.  It will just save time. 

I will say that I wouldn’t change my years of experience to be a 20 year old idiot again, but I don’t see my body falling apart as a fair tradeoff.  You would think nature would have provided for a better design.  And what’s with my legs wanting to get up and walk around in the middle of the night?  I need sleep from all this standing!  It would be a problem easier to except, however, if I could just get them to take me in to pee while I was sleeping.

Rex