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I Hate Plane Travel!

Traveling sucks!  Let’s just start with that.  Let me be specific.  I like taking long drives in the mountains, or on long deserted roads where there’s great scenery and wonderful places to stop and camp.  However, slogging into an airport, dealing with the sniveling, sneezing, whiny, smelly, rude, and generally unkempt masses makes me want to scream! 
Let’s just start with the preparation.  I can’t just pack a bag and go.  Because some asshole who decided to blow up a plane using whatever came to mind I now have to make sure I don’t have anything that might resemble a bomb, or any object that might resemble a deadly weapon.  The problem is that even a set of car keys can be a deadly weapon so you never know what security is going to flag.  They have a list, but it’s not complete, and it changes depending not only on which airport, but which minimum wage idiot needs to feel your crotch. 
You have to be careful about how many bags you use too. This isn’t too bad for me, but when my wife goes away for longer than a weekend it requires a three-week logistical analysis of semi routes and freight train schedules.  I’m now eligible to be a member of the Teamsters due to all the bags of her’s I’ve carried.  To make it worse airlines now charge for every bag so you need a second mortgage to pay for it if you’re going to have anything larger than a shave case! 
I live outside Denver so the commute to the airport in good traffic is about an hour.  That’s not so bad, but if you have to make the drive in rush hour traffic consider three to four hours of stop and go joy and amusement.  There’s a reason I commute to work at 5 a.m.  I don’t want to deal with people.  The problem is that you have to make sure you schedule a flight that coordinates with traffic.  That means if you’re going to make it to the airport, get through security, and board your plane on time, you have to leave for your Friday afternoon flight on a Tuesday morning.  I’m better off driving!
Now let’s talk about boarding the plane.  This is a fun experience.  I don’t travel all that much, because as I mentioned before…I hate it. Still, it took me about two seconds of my first flight to figure out how to put my bags away.  The process is pretty simple:  find your seat, put your bag in the overhead compartment.  However, I’m amazed at the sheer number of people that have difficulty managing this simple concept.  The looks on their faces is mind boggling.  They’re actually confused by this simple concept. 
I mean I can’t blame all of the slow process of boarding on stupid people. The plan isle isn’t wide enough for a two year old so an adult trying to maneuver is almost impossible, but I see people trying to walk up and down the isles while others are trying to put their bags away and the whole process is frightening!  Sit your ass down and WAIT!  If you needed to pee you should have done it before you got on the damn plane!
Once in flight you’re stuck in this tube for the duration so the best thing to do is to try and relax.  However that’s not always possible.  To start with I think there should be a new law.  Babies and young children should be sedated on flights longer than 10 minutes.  That’s right…10…fucking…minutes!  After listening to an 18 month old kid whine, watch him bite his mother, and SCREAM at the top of his lungs for FOUR CAPTIVATED HOURS I’m done!!!!  I have never fantasized so gloriously about the multiple uses of a plastic bag and a rubber band as I did on my last flight.  Admittedly I don’t have children, so I don’t have the patience for them.   And this is why!
Now after you get off the plane you get to deal with grabbing and organizing your luggage.  Again, not that big a deal for me but I travel with my wife which requires some organization.  However, I have been pushed, tripped, bumped and generally assaulted so often at the luggage carousel that I feel I need football pads.  On the up side my wife usually has so much luggage that I can skip that day’s weight workout. 
Now you get to manage your way onto the shuttle to your parking spot or hotel.  Since you don’t want to take out a second mortgage for your house you park in the long term lot which is about a days drive from the airport.  This lengthens your trip as well.  If you’re going to your car you only hope it is still there with all the wheels and glass still attached.  If you’re going to a hotel you just hope they have your room ready because at this point you’re so annoyed and tired you don’t really care that it might be home to a dead body and bed bugs.  You can just push the rotted carcass into a closet and the bedbugs can be dealt with later. 

People suck.  All of them!  They are pushy, rude, and lack the basic decency to function in a pluralistic society.  All you need to do to see this is travel through any airport in the world.  I have no patience for them.  It’s why I prefer being in the woods and backpacking.  I’ve never met a bear or mountain lion that I feared the way I do the stupidity I see every time I travel.  The only thing I hope for when I do get on a plane is that the pilot has at least one more chromosome than the passengers.  Because if he doesn’t, we’re all fucked!
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Enough to Start Over

About 15 years ago liberals were made to believe that their ideas and aspirations were somehow flawed.  The notion that everyone should have a chance in the world was just ridiculous.  The right wing made it a sin to want to help the needy and less fortunate.  They took the basic and most important tenet of Christian idealism (that of giving), and perverted it into the idea that need is a sin.  This was pretty horrific given they espouse to be the party of God.
Republicans took the party of Lincoln and made it the party of white, male, and rich.  In their minds, anything less is to be unworthy.  If you aren’t making a seven figure income, well, your opinion just doesn’t matter.  Sure, they love to pander to your fears, especially since they created them, but in reality they don’t have time for you.  You are a lazy, stupid, child who needs direction to push the world forward.  You’re not worth their time unless you have the money to pay for it. 
For over two decades Republicans have been able to put a pleasant face forward like the portrait of Dorian Gray while inside they withered and rotted.  Now that picture has manifested itself into a billion-dollar disaster with orange skin and bad hair and is the standard bearer for all that’s wrong with the party.  He’s given a face to the monster they created, a people so full of hate and mistrust that they buy the sewage he spews out of his mouth.  A sewage that has been created by preying on the fear and ignorance of its members. 
What was once said behind closed doors and in hushed tones or in veiled statements euphemistically called “dog whistles” is now blatantly spewed from one of the most horrific individuals ever hatched.  Their disease is out into the open and they can’t hide it any longer.  Now Mr. Gray sees his portrait and doesn’t like it very much, and they’re frantically throwing spackle and paint at the picture only to find that it’s not helping.
Racism, sexism, religious bigotry, and all the hate that gave the party their power since the civil war is now an anchor they need to cut loose.  The leaders of the party have a decision to make.  They can either cut loose that tarnished anchor of hate, or be dragged to the bottom because the U.S.S. hateful is is going down.  The problem is they’ve been out to sea so long they can’t tell if its safer on the boat or on land.  What’s really sad is the party members are like abused children.  They stay because they know no other way. 
What’s going to happen over the next two years will determine the fate of the GOP.  When that illustrious body attached themselves to the Christian right they knew that group was neither Christian, nor right.  However, that didn’t stop them.  All they saw were the dollars.  They mistakenly thought they could fool the devil and make their way to glory.  The problem is the devil has taken over.  All they can do now is let go and hope there’s enough of a soul left to start over.
 
 

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Never Argue with a Trump Supporter

One of the things I’ve learned in my old age is never argue with someone who doesn’t have the ability to consider whether their perspective might be wrong.  It’s a waste of time.  You can spend hours and days showing them the error of their thought process, illustrating ad nauseam the facts, not opinion, the facts showing the errors of their misguided views, and still they will say you are wrong.  They’ll just disregard the facts.  It’s reminds me of people who stay in their houses during a major flood:

“I’ll be fine.” 

“But there’s a 16 foot wall of water coming this way.”

“I don’t see it.”

“Here’s a video of the water coming over the damn.”

“Yea…that’s bullshit.”

If you ever want to meet someone who functions like this, then go no farther than a Trump supporter.
Try as you might you can’t bust through the diamond hard bubble of a Trump supporter.  They are barraged with anecdotes of Hillary deleting her emails, killing Vince Foster, participating in a corrupt land deal, or lying about Benghazi.  Never mind that no agency, Local, State, or Federal has ever found Hillary to be guilty of a crime.  After investigations into thousands of instances involving the Clintons, all we know is Bill lied to keep his wife from finding out he got a blowjob. 

The problem I have is I never get an argument about policy.  I’m more than happy t argue policy with someone who has a different political view.  I enjoy those discussions.  However, these people are in no way versed in economic, social, or any type of policy what so ever.  With them it’s all about how someone makes them feel.  With all their criticism of being politically correct because people have too thin skin they’re the first to base a critical life decision on a “feeling.”

I have no doubt Trumps minions believe I’m the one who is delusional.  The difference is I came to the subject with the idea that they may be right.  I might just not have all the facts.  Then I took some time to actually look at the information.  I asked myself “Why is she not in prison?”  “What is really happening here?”  “Who’s telling me all these things?”  If you think that Hillary Clinton is the worst thing since Stalin, then I suggest you consider the source of your information. 

In the decades since the Clintons first burst onto international political stage, I’ve seen thousands of right-wing politicians, political rivals, radio hosts, conservative columnists, and conspiracy theorists, all with an agenda, talking about how criminal they are.  However, I’ve never seen someone without a political agenda, you know…like an actual law enforcement agency…call them criminal.  I’ve never heard of them being charged with a crime.  Hell, the only thing I’ve ever heard from any legitimate source is that they have spent their entire adult lives helping those who are less fortunate.  And there is a MOUNTAIN of factual evidence to prove that. 

The other day I listened to a co-worker talk about how his uncle knew a guy who knew a physician who said that he watched the video of Hillary during the 9-11 memorial and she is a lot sicker than just having pneumonia.  Man!  That’s like bullshit three times removed!  Even if he has an uncle that knows a guy that knows a doctor, I HIGHTLY doubt the opinion.  The first thing I’d want to know is where did Marcus Welby get his license to practice medicine?  I’m pretty sure diagnosing a 68-year-old woman from an image of the back of her head as she’s ushered into an SUV is not considered fact-based medicine. 

These people are so happy to dig through all the horse shit because after 35 years the pile’s so high they’re sure there has to be a pony under there.  I worked with a guy once that told me Hillary married Bill because she wanted to be President.  Really?  She knew almost five decades ago that Bill would usher her into the Whitehouse?  If that’s the case, then I need to get to know her personally.  I need me some lottery numbers!

These are the type of people who show up to their lawyer’s office to tell her what their crazy uncle Billy said they should do about their legal troubles.  “Because he was lookin’ on that google and found we could get a million dollars for our lawsuit.”  Think I’m kidding?  It happens.  My wife is a lawyer.  Her favorite saying is “what makes you think your google search stands up to my law degree?”  Still, they’ll listen to the village idiot every time.

Still, the first thing any of them will tell you is that with all the information out there about Hillary you have to make the assumption that something is definitely going on there.  Because as they say “Where’s there is smoke, there’s fire.” 

Well…no…not always.  Sometimes it’s just a steaming pile of horse shit. 

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Growing up Des Moines

I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa.  I lived in the same house until I was 20, got baptized, confirmed, and even married in the same Lutheran Church (although I went back for that last one 18 years later), and pretty much lived on the same side of town until I left the state at 29 years old.  It was a great childhood, and I have to say I grew personally, professionally, and intellectually while living there.  Hell, even the state slogan says that “It’s a Great Place to Grow.”  Still, my education really wasn’t all that rounded until I left. 

It’s a scary thing leaving the only place you know.  People don’t think the same way about Iowa that Iowans think.  For example, everyone outside the state pretty much thinks it’s flat, and covered in corn.  I mean come on…why wouldn’t they?  Every four years during caucus time they get a brief glimpse of farmers in their fields, and some politician being stupid enough to let their picture be taken deep throating a corndog.  Seriously…can someone please tell them to stop doing that?  It looks disgusting. 

What people outside the state don’t get is that while there definitely is an agricultural side to the state, it also has its urban issues as well.  I grew up in one of those urban areas.  When I moved to Colorado Springs in the 90s they thought they were pretty metropolitan compared to Des Moines.  Uh no.  That’s like saying the Altoona, Iowa is pretty metropolitan compared to New York.  The only thing metropolitan about Colorado Springs is Denver. 

I was shocked when people in Colorado Springs would tell me to avoid the south side.  I drove down there.  It’s pretty much suburbia.  I’m still not sure what they fear from that area.  I think it’s because there are Hispanics down there.  You see…Colorado Springs is so white that when it snows you can’t really tell.  They’re also so Republican that Iowa Republicans come off as left wing communists.  We’re all about the cross burnings down here. 

You see, I grew up in a neighborhood that makes the south side of Colorado Springs seem pretty tame.  Are there shootings in Colorado Springs?  Yes.  But as yet no one has shot an unsuspecting driver while they sat at a stoplight so the shooter could kill the people in the car on the other side of the innocent bystander.  I’m still using that as my measuring stick.  They did have a crazy guy hold up a Planned Parenthood, but which town doesn’t have their idiot?  They just arm them here.

Anyway the reason I was writing this is because I was thinking about many of my friends in the Midwest and their political stances.  Their ideas are deeply rooted in how and where they grew up.  From their perspective the world works a certain way and there’s right and there’s wrong and you just don’t have to think about it. The problem is the world is a lot more complicated than the inner workings of the 10 or so square miles of east side Des Moines.  This is why governing is so hard.  You’re going to piss off half the population no matter what you do.

Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t educate yourself.  Make yourself aware of what’s happening in other parts of the country, or other parts of the world.  Most of the things I read from friends are based on a true desire to make the world a better place.  The problem is that you have to go out and see the rest of the world before you can form an opinion.  What’s good for you is not always good for someone else.  So for them I offer this:  Leave!  Visit other places.  Don’t just go and vacation, get to know the locals.  Try to understand them.  Read!  Read from and about people you don’t agree with.  Don’t just get your news from TV.   If you can travel that really is the best way.  For some of you this will be easy.  For others it will hard.  For some of you it will be impossible.  For the remaining few, I’m happy to pay for a ticket to Syria. 

Kisses!

Rex

Oh…and P.S.  You idiots that keep writing these memes about “You know you’re from Iowa if?”  Cornhole was NOT a game created in Iowa.  If you ask an Iowan what cornhole means  (especially and East Sider) I don’t think you’ll be prepared for the answer. 

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Growing up Des Moines

I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa.  I lived in the same house until I was 20, got baptized, confirmed, and even married in the same Lutheran Church (although I went back for that last one 18 years later), and pretty much lived on the same side of town until I left the state at 29 years old.  It was a great childhood, and I have to say I grew personally, professionally, and intellectually while living there.  Hell, even the state slogan says that “It’s a Great Place to Grow.”  Still, my education really wasn’t all that rounded until I left. 

It’s a scary thing leaving the only place you know.  People don’t think the same way about Iowa that Iowans think.  For example, everyone outside the state pretty much thinks it’s flat, and covered in corn.  I mean come on…why wouldn’t they?  Every four years during caucus time they get a brief glimpse of farmers in their fields, and some politician being stupid enough to let their picture be taken deep throating a corndog.  Seriously…can someone please tell them to stop doing that?  It looks disgusting. 

What people outside the state don’t get is that while there definitely is an agricultural side to the state, it also has its urban issues as well.  I grew up in one of those urban areas.  When I moved to Colorado Springs in the 90s they thought they were pretty metropolitan compared to Des Moines.  Uh no.  That’s like saying the Altoona, Iowa is pretty metropolitan compared to New York.  The only thing metropolitan about Colorado Springs is Denver. 

I was shocked when people in Colorado Springs would tell me to avoid the south side.  I drove down there.  It’s pretty much suburbia.  I’m still not sure what they fear from that area.  I think it’s because there are Hispanics down there.  You see…Colorado Springs is so white that when it snows you can’t really tell.  They’re also so Republican that Iowa Republicans come off as left wing communists.  We’re all about the cross burnings down here. 

You see, I grew up in a neighborhood that makes the south side of Colorado Springs seem pretty tame.  Are there shootings in Colorado Springs?  Yes.  But as yet no one has shot an unsuspecting driver while they sat at a stoplight so the shooter could kill the people in the car on the other side of the innocent bystander.  I’m still using that as my measuring stick.  They did have a crazy guy hold up a Planned Parenthood, but which town doesn’t have their idiot?  They just arm them here.

Anyway the reason I was writing this is because I was thinking about many of my friends in the Midwest and their political stances.  Their ideas are deeply rooted in how and where they grew up.  From their perspective the world works a certain way and there’s right and there’s wrong and you just don’t have to think about it. The problem is the world is a lot more complicated than the inner workings of the 10 or so square miles of east side Des Moines.  This is why governing is so hard.  You’re going to piss off half the population no matter what you do.

Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t educate yourself.  Make yourself aware of what’s happening in other parts of the country, or other parts of the world.  Most of the things I read from friends are based on a true desire to make the world a better place.  The problem is that you have to go out and see the rest of the world before you can form an opinion.  What’s good for you would is not always good for someone else.  So for them I offer this:  Leave!  Visit other places.  Don’t just go and vacation, get to know the locals.  Try to understand them.  Read!  Read from and about people you don’t agree with.  Don’t just get your news from TV.   If you can travel that really is the best way.  For some of you this will be easy.  For others it will hard.  For some of you it will be impossible.  For the remaining few, I’m happy to pay for a ticket to Syria. 

Kisses!

Rex

Oh…and P.S.  You idiots that keep writing these memes about “You know you’re from Iowa if?”  Cornhole was NOT a game created in Iowa.  If you ask an Iowan what cornhole means  (especially and East Sider) I don’t think you’ll be prepared for the answer.