Look Who’s 50!

Good Lord I’m 50!  I never knew I would live this long.  In reality with all my bicycling, I was sure by now I would have died with a pickup truck attached to my spleen.  It’s why I took up mountain biking.  It’s hard to get a truck on single-track.  Not that I haven’t seen idiots try it.  Still, using trees as cover is just a sample of the things I’ve learned over the last half century:

I’ve learned to keep busy.  Most people my age are winding down.  Not me!  In the last few years I moved in with a wonderful woman, married her, and then we bounced from place to place like restless newlyweds.  I even started running marathons with her so we could spend more time together.  Now just last month we bought a new house, and to make things more interesting, I start a new job next week, and my wife is about to start her own legal practice.  This is what usually happens when you’re 30, not 50.  If this is winding down, we’re not doing it right.

I’ve learned to stay healthy.  In a lot of ways I’m in the exact same shape I was when I was 25.  My mind even thinks my body is still 25.  My body thinks my mind is delusional.  Still, I’m in pretty good condition.  In fact I’m active to the point that would put most people my age six feet under.  I like to push the envelope.  If you’ve ever ridden a mountain bike or skied with me then you know what I mean.  However, the edges of that envelope are getting a little weaker than they used to be.  

I’ve learned my limitations.  I’m not saying I’m slowing down really, or that I lack the ability to push it to the nth degree.  What I’m saying is that my body is to the point where taking six weeks off for the bones to heal has a greater impact than it did when I was say 16.  Also, my mind remembers how badly it hurts to have a shoulder reset, or to have to walk several hours out of the forest to get to a hospital to have my shoulder reset.  Pain is a great teacher!

I’ve learned about my body.  Even with all the activity there are some things you can’t deny are an issue when you’re turning 50.  It’s very similar to going through puberty.  Hair starts growing in places you really don’t need.  You don’t want to get out of bed in the mornings.  You start having strange feelings you don’t understand.  You can’t focus due to crazy hormonal changes, and things start leaking out of you in the middle of the night.  The same things happen in your 50s, the only difference is the strange hair is now growing out of your ears.  You WANT to get out of bed, but you can’t because of the back pain.  The strange “feelings” are now unexplained chest pain.  The poor focus is your bad eyesight, and the leaking is from an over active bladder. 

I’ve learned that hindsight is a good thing.  I like to think I’ve grown a little smarter over five decades (marathons not withstanding).  Getting older has one advantage to being younger that no one can deny, and that’s the advantage of hindsight.  We stop making as many mistakes as we get older because we know the consequences of our previous decisions.  That’s why you don’t see a lot of 50 year olds on Jack Ass.  I just wish hindsight was more appreciated than it is today.  Maybe people would stop doing the same stupid shit they were doing 50 years ago only to expect a different result.

I’ve learned not to argue with ignorance.  A side effect to turning 50 is that you lose your toleration for stupidity.  Actually I never had it.  I was just trying to act like I used to be nicer.  What I have done, however, is learned not to argue with the ignorant.  The constant barrage of opinion polls, conjecture, fake anecdotes, and blatant lies that seem to be more powerful to the ignorant than cold hard facts are so prevalent that if I tried to address them all my brain would explode.  There was once a time when I would actually try to correct a ridiculous statement, idea, attitude, or whatever.  I’ve given that up.  It’s too much work.  Quite frankly, I would have to provide them at the very least with four years of secondary education to understand the difference between scientific research and analysis or someone just pulling an idea out of their ass.  I just don’t have the time.  It’s my birthday.  I want to ride my bike. 

Rex

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